A Flying Pig.

What's that? A pig is flying? Hell is freezing over? Is the pot calling the kettle black? Is the fat lady singing? Insert any adynaton or idiom here.

Yes, folks, I am going to sell something.

As a born skeptic and as someone that thinks people should buy less, save more... me selling something doesn't add up. I am not a salesman. I am also very cynical about direct sale marketing and pyramid schemes... using friends and family to make money just doesn't set right with me. And only seeing people as possible customers is wrong.

My friend Ashley is going to laugh because she said last year "I'm thinking about selling this stuff..." and I responded "You don't want to do that. Why do you want to become a sales consultant... that's dumb."

However, a few things have come together to push me over the edge and try this.

• I am at home with no job and no baby. I need something to do. I know I'm not ready for a full-time job (even if I could find one in my field) and part-time jobs that are worthwhile are hard to come by. I need something to help me have a purpose because I'm not at home mothering Maelee like I should be.
• I am trying to be environmentally conscious. My "living lightly on the earth" class in college is effecting me still. I think we should take care of what God created. So we have a rain barrel (you should get one, they are sweet), compost bin, garden... we recycle, try to limit our water usage, turn off lights, use earth-friendly products. Easy stuff, really. But I want to lessen our chemical impact.
  
• I would like to help pay the bills. Greg works so hard to provide but I want to help. But since my goal isn't to make money, I don't have to shove this down anyone's throat.
  
• I like to work. I miss it.
  
• I am convinced: the product is great. It's mostly something people need anyway. And since the product is so good, I don't have to sell it really... it should sell itself (though I'm sure that's what every salesperson says about whatever they are selling).
  

So what is it? All of you from ND and MN probably know... I'm going to sell Norwex. What is that you ask? Well, in my words, it's mostly cleaning products that don't use nasty chemicals. Their ultimate seller is the enviro cloth which is a microfiber cloth that has silver in it... which is super antibacterial and kills bad germs. Apparently silver is what some ER's put on wounds because it's so good at stopping germs.

In their words:

Our line of cleaning products will save you time & money, improve health, and move towards creating a better environment. Norwex microfiber goes beyond "surface clean" with the innovative use of silver particles integrated into synthetic microfiber cloth ensure:

• Single-celled micro-organisms such as bacteria, fungi, yeast, and viruses cannot survive or adapt in silver exposure
• Surface-to-surface cross-contamination is eliminated
• Rapidly drying cloths prevent bacteria growth in the cloth itself

Cleaning with water only produces a healthy outcome for us and the environment.

Laboratory tests have proven that Norwex antibacterial microfiber reduced bacteria by 99.99% in 24 hours!

Blah, blah, blah, I know.

It's pretty cool though and here's a few reasons why I was sold:

1. Greg's Grandma Kasowski started using the stuff years ago. I adore her.
2. Greg's mom, Mary, started using the stuff and I adore her, too... though I will admit she's sold on lots of stuff so I was naturally skeptical when she gave me the cloths for Christmas.
3. My mom (who is even more skeptical and anti-selling stuff than me) is a natural Martha Stewart. After she saw Mary cleaning our house with the stuff in April, my mom started saying "maybe you should sell this stuff Heather." Insert image of me with completely shocked face.
4. My tub looked AMAZING after Mary cleaned it. It's got this texture on the bottom that just invites scum and it was all gone.
   
5. I don't get a migraine from using it! Greg had to start cleaning our bathroom for us and close the door because I got a migraine from every cleaner I tried. I have probably 20+ bottles of stuff that I've tried and couldn't handle. The cleaning paste has four ingredients (marble flour, chalk, soap, coconut oil) and doesn't smell. And obviously the cloths use just water so there isn't any lingering smell to avoid.
   
6. Someday we are going to have kids (hopefully) and I don't want them crawling on a floor with bleachy chemicals... I'd must rather clean my floors and house with water.
7. I don't like thinking about all the chemicals that are put down the drains, into our water. If I can prevent some, that's a good thing.
   
8. We don't really know the long term effects of many of the chemicals we use to clean and the chemicals in the products we use on our bodies. I did a study in college on our country's regulatory system for the health and beauty industry and was appalled at how little testing is required. I've been wary ever since.
   
9. The stuff works. Some of it probably isn't super, but the stuff I've seen thus far is good and worth it.
   
10. Most of it lasts a really long time. The cloths last 7 to 10 years. The cleaning paste Mary used was her "old" one she had for a year... and it barely looked used. The laundry detergent will last for years (especially if you have a front loader 'cause you use like a teaspoon). I can stop buying stuff so often and save money that way. When I sell it, I don't have to be thinking "aha! I'll get them hooked and they'll have to buy stuff every other month!" since they won't need a new cloth for years.
    
11. It's easy. Once you know what you are doing, you can clean most of your house with a cloth and a bucket of water. Our house is dirty/messy from me being gone and I'm going to attack it tomorrow with my Norwex stuff... and I'm sure it's going to take me much less time than before. And without a headache to boot.
12. I understand part of the reason why Norwex chose direct sale marketing versus selling it at Walmart: you have to know how to use the product in order for it to be effective. You can't teach someone that just buys it off the shelf. I'm still working on understanding this one, however, since it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.
    
13. I'm going to get to be around people! I like people.
14. Greg emailed me his list of "11 reasons why Heather would be good at this" last month. He's on board and wants me to do it.
15. Apparently people that host parties get more perks than any other direct sale dealy. My sister got a ton of free products for hosting a party where her sister-in-law consults. I like the thought of free stuff for people!
16. Norwex came from Norway (I'm Norwegian), to Canada (where their North American headquarters are located), and is trickling down to the US... which is why not many people down here know about it yet and why many people in ND/MN do. I was convinced because random pockets of people I know told me about Norwex but they didn't know each other (showing me it's impressed various people in different walks of life). How 'bout that, eh?
    

Here's some of my hesitations:

1. I don't like selling stuff.
   
2. I don't like feeling obligated to buy stuff. I don't mind attending pampered chef/tupperware/jewelery/creative memories/etc parties... but since we aren't rich and really don't need much, I usually try to find the cheapest thing if I feel I need to buy something. Sometimes I'm happy with my purchase/the product and sometimes not. And attending parties like that gets old at times (though sometimes you get really good snacks!). So I don't want to make people feel like I often do at this stuff.
   
3. I don't want my nights/weekends to be totally booked since that's when I see Greg.
4. I don't like the idea of working for some big company that I don't know at least some of the big wigs personally.
   
5. I haven't tried every product yet so I can't say whether or not they are worth buying. I'm going to have to do a lot of research/reading and then cleaning once I accumulate the products to make sure I still like them.
   

So there you have it.

I'm going to send in the paperwork next week and probably have a "party" sometime soon. I promise to you, friends and family, to not sell you crap and make you feel obligated to buy stuff or have a party or spend all the time talking about Norwex. If you have bad stories about the stuff, please let me know. If you like it and have good stories, let me know, too. I won't post much about this venture unless I feel I must wow you but I'll update you on how it's going once I'm actually a "consultant" (oh boy, that sounds pretty lame, maybe they'll let me make up a new title that doesn't sound so shady).

-Heather