Thanks to some wonderful people and my mad shopping skills, last year we were fairly well set with baby stuff for our girl. We had two amazing showers that blessed our socks off. It was super fun and we were so grateful for the many adorable and practical items. I had things fairly well washed and unpackaged and ready to be useful for her arrival.
But after Maelee died, well, that's just NOT a situation Emily Post has an answer for. And when you are in the midst of extreme grief, going through your daughter's gifts, finding gift receipts, trying to remember who gave you what to know whether or not you should return it... well, folks, that is just not realistic. Who has the emotional ability to handle that?! I vaguely remember shoving a bunch of receipts (I am Miss Organized and did have them all filed) and random stuff to my mom telling her to return it. My poor mom had to go to BabysRUs and return things her granddaughter was never going to get to use.
So now you can see just a bit of why it's been hard for me to get in our babies' room and start organizing and figuring out what we actually need. I didn't want to have to go through Maelee's stuff and "inventory" it. I didn't want to have see all these girly things, remember the happy time when we got it, and be saddened that it's still brand new. But it needed to be done. I do want to be ready for our boy just like I was for his sister.
So last week I went through all of her drawers. I picked out a few things I didn't have an attachment to and was able to make a pile to giveaway to friends that are having girls. Note: the pile wasn't that big! I guess I'm sort of attached to quite a bit and besides keepsake items, those things are now in storage bins labeled with Maelee's name, the contents, and a big 'ol KEEP sign. It's going to go upstairs in our storage. And maybe someday we'll have a little sister to wear and use those all-girl, all-adorable things.
Of course I kept the few gender neutral things we had to use for the little man. And I am looking forward to saying, as I'm putting it on him/using it with him, "This was your sisters!" and tell him about Maelee. So the MN Twins onesie that was one of the first things I bought when I found out we were pregnant with Maelee - I can't wait to put that on our little man! And the 1000 or so diapers of all sizes... well, I'm sure glad they don't make gender-specific diapers.
It was a very hard day but the Lord got me through. I was smart enough to also wash the boy's clothes and have those ready to put in the drawers... so they wouldn't have to sit empty. Ever. And there were times of amusement as I laughed at my grief and what I got rid of and what I kept. Seriously. I was definitely not in the right frame of mind.
Now on to figuring out what we "need" to get. People have asked us about a shower and my response is the same. We can do a big 'ol "Meet the Baby" shower come May! But I cannot handle another before-baby-is-here shower. It would be too hard. Receiving more undeserved and adorable baby things but with the unknown of whether or not he'll get to use it, it's just more than my heart can take right now. I do hope we can have a wonderful celebration come May and introduce you to our boy. But please don't feel like you have to buy him anything.
I must admit it has been great therapy to start shopping for boy things and making my baby list on amazon (way better than in-store registering). My friend Heather (who is pregnant with her rainbow baby BOY as well!) and I did venture to BabysRUs and the new Buy Buy Baby last week just to see how things have changed in a year and to start thinking boy. It was a bit overwhelming (avoiding those stores for many months and now being welcomed in again) but it was good to see that not ALL baby boy things are baby blue color (which I don't love, sadly). And I found great navy sheets!
All that to say, I know many of you are moms and are wise about good baby stuff. So as I'm preparing for his arrival, there have been a few things missing in my inventory that I am figuring out if I need to get. There's some second-hand consignment sales coming up. And I have a few questions:
- Baby Socks: I always heard they fall off. But do they really need them? If so, what kinds should I get?
- Baby Shoes: When do they actually need shoes?
- Bibs: Maelee had some stinkin' adorable ones but none gender neutral. Should I get nice soft fluffy ones for when he's nursing? Or just scratch that and get ones for when he actually eats food?
- Diaper Bag: We have a super all-brown one from my sister that is really small (and should be great for quick trips?!) but should I get a regular-size one? What is the criteria for finding a good one? Can you just use a regular bag?
- Swaddling: Do you need a swaddleme pre-done up thing or can you just use a blanket?
- Bottles: I plan to nurse but I do have a pump that I can use to make some bottles occasionally. I know babies are picky here... so how many should I have to start out with?
- Glider: We are going to buy one for the room. I spend hours looking at reviews and come up with varying opinions. Does anyone have one they actually like? Not going for fancy...
- High Chair: Don't need this 'til much later but I want to know if I see a good deal. Should I go for just one to put on a chair (Space Saver - I like this) or is it important to have a full-on high chair?
- Must Haves: What are your must haves for baby? What "stuff" is so amazing that it's worth accumulating?
Sorry for the long post. I must end it by saying again how completely thankful that I get to be writing about baby stuff right now.
-Heather
6 comments:
Hey Heather! Ok not that I know everything but here are some thoughts:-). Shoes: they def don't need them until almost 1...Owen is just starting to wear real shoes since he's starting to walk. Bibs! You'll need lots of those! They spit up a lot and once they start teething it's drool 24/7. We have a TON of bibs you are more then welcome to have! We literally have like 50 bibs! Those Velcro swaddled things are wonderful! They "startle" when they try to fall asleep and it makes them feel all secure and whatnot. Oh and if u get those all in one pajamas I recommend the one's with zippers and not buttons because in the middle of the night it's so much easier! Anyways I hope that helps! Oh I forgot the diaper bag thing...yes u might need bigger...:-( with diapers/wipes/bibs/burp clothes/extra clothes etc . Ok well sorry! If u need anything I'd love to help:-) take care! Sara
My two cents:
1. Baby socks are good, but in SC you probably don't need them at all in the summer. If you do get them, I would go for the 6 month size, thin cotton ones.
2. Baby shoes - we don't use these until they start walking.
3. Bibs - the only time I use them is for teething - they start drooling like mad which can result in a lot of wet shirts and then when he will start eating solids.
4. Often I use those canvas totes from the grocery store. but of course they're not as cute - ha!
5. Yes. The velcro swaddles are wonderful. I would get at least two. Once your baby is used to being swaddled he won't sleep without it - and you will have to wean him off the swaddle eventually.
6. I would only get one or two bottles, because he might not like the type you get and then you'll have a bunch of bottles. We used Avent, but, even if you mostly nurse, you may want to introducet he bottle fairly son. WIth my 2nd and 3rd son, we waited too long and niether would take a bottle.
7. Not the squashy deep ones. I thought that looked so comfy, but it wasn't that great for nursing and took up a lot of room. If I were doing it over again, I'd get a more rocking-chair style.
8. The Fisher Price Space Saver one is wonderful. Easy to strap on, wipe down, and travel with.
9. I would get a sling or wrap of some kind. My favorite is the sleepywrap as it's not too hard on your back. A Baby Bjorn is nice, too. Other than that? Hmmm...I liked "My Breast Friend" (Yes, it really is called that, groan) over the Boppee for nursing. A bouncy chair or Moses basket, or somewhere you can set him down safely for a few minutes is really helpful. And a white noise machine.
I can only imagine how bittersweet preparing for this new little one must be. We'll be thinking of you adn praying for courage and peace these last few weeks!
My thoughts:
1/2. socks do fall off, but when its cold they are nice to have. They really only stay on with shoes. Otherwise I would wait until the start really moving.
3. depends on how much they drool - their is a great teething necklace that helps with drooling - i believe it is made out of ambers? If you are interested I can look that up.
4. I combined my diaper bag and purse - so i just sat in the diaper bag isle at babyRus for about 30min trying out the bags I liked. Yes, I really put all the things in each bag. In the end it was worth it!
5. cotton blankets worked really well for us, but they are small
6. I agree with above - start early! we had 2 to chose from
7. no real opinion here, we just have a cheap one
8. I love my full on high chair - especially now b/c the seat adjusts to the table height.
9. must haves: cloth diapers like the prefolds - these make great spit up rags! you can find them at walmart, or target, cloth nursing pads were awesome too and cheaper, sensory books - where they can feel different textures, bath foam mat - we don't like the baby tubs the mat lays in the tub and lets them kick in the water - its great!
You are an amazing woman of God. I praise the Lord for the strength he has given you and Greg. Thank you so much for exposing your heart to us. I can only image the pain/excitement/nervousness you are going through.
We continue to pray and think about your family often.
Chris I
What a wonderful topic stuff...
I agree with everyone. With Lila and Grace we didn't use bibs that much until they started eating, but with Ruby we use them daily because she spits up a ton! Yes swaddleme. We've tried a few of the newer swaddle blankets that are made of muslin, but not the same as the velco. Diaper bag..make sure it is light weight. I have some great ones with lots of pockets, but it is too heavy by itself, so I just use a random bag (I think it is a laptop bag). Socks/shoes...personal preference. We use socks for comfy reasons under sleepers and stuff, and for any time Ruby wears a dress, but then again it is a lot colder here. Yes they fall off, but we just simply put them back on, again, and again. If you are concerned about sterilizing bottle between feeding have at least 4 on hand, otherwise hand washing them you can get away with 2. I think a carrier is great. I have both the baby bjorn and peanut shell. I use them each randomly depending on my purpose. The baby bjorn is especially nice for taking walks, if baby K isn't content then you can push the stroller while carrying him. The only other thing I can think of at the moment would be a pacifier clip if baby K will use a pacifier. We also have 2 very small blankets for Grace that are her "blankies" it is great that she isn't attached to a large blanket (like Lila) for going places. My sister got like 6 of the same baby blankets for her kids so if 1,2, or 4 were in the wash he always had the same exact blanket for bed time. I love this idea, but was to cheap to go do the same after I already had so many blankets already.
We will keep you and your family in your prayers with your Grandpa on his way to heaven.
Heather - We have a mutual friend, Tammie Hull and she thought I might like to comment on this post. First, I want to say congratulations on your new son and that I read Maelee's story and my heart breaks for your loss, but your tribute to her was so precious. I LOVE her name, too!
We just adopted a baby 11 months ago, and our youngest was 8 - so we completely started over in the baby department. I have a few ideas for you.
1. We don't use socks unless absolutely necessary. We have a few pairs, but living in FL, we rarely use them.
2. None of my kids have ever worn shoes - even to learn to walk. Not necessary at all. Our baby's only shoes are a pair of baby Converse his older brother gave him so they could match. We put them on and take pics. :)
3. I use bibs only once they start eating food. If you have a drooler though, it is nice to not have wet clothes all the time.
4. I ordered my diaper bag from Etsy because I wanted it personalized. It is cute. Not too big, but it does the job.
5. I did enjoy the swaddle blanket I had, but I only used it the first few weeks, so I would not invest too much money in it. You can use a blanket, but it is harder to get it right and the swaddle blankets make it easier.
6. I use Born Free for our son who is adopted. I never had bottles for my nursing babies. I definitely don't think you need too many if you are committed to nursing.
7. I like my glider, but it is from baby #3, so it is 13 years old. I do think a rocker/glider of some sort is necessary. Nothing fancy, but it is soothing for baby and Mom to rock.
8. I love my Chicco high chair. I love ALL of Chicco's baby products - they are light weight, yet durable and everything we have car seat, stroller, walker have held up fabulously!
9. The only must have I can think of not mentioned is a Moby Wrap. This is the first time I have used one and I LOVE it. It is a little intimidating at first, but once you get the hang of getting it on, it is really easy and you will love it. Doesn't hurt your back or shoulders at all. You use it from birth and I still use it with my 11 month old. LOVE it!!!
Congrats again, I will be keeping up with your blog.
Hey Heather!!
Not like you probably need a lot more opinions, but here's mine since we all like to give ours.
socks do fall off all the time. I just used lots of footed outfits the first probably 3 months, much easier. And if you are in the south, really socks are probably overrated at least in spring and summer.
Elsie didn't wear shoes until she was walking on her feet, but they are cute before, im just too cheap for things like that.
we didn't do bibs until she ate food. again i'm cheap.
my purse makes a wonderful diaper bag, i hate carrying 2 bags.
swaddle blankets are great for parents in my hospital experience, learning a good swaddle can take a while :)
Elsie had a bottle day 3 (of pumped milk) I just used the ones that came with the pump, and she did just fine with that one. If you don't give her a bottle at all until 4 months or so is when you are more likely to run into problems.
we have a glider from target and love it
we have a high chair that straps onto one of our kitchen chairs and that's the one I would recommend, space saving and cheaper :)
My must have was my MOBY wrap. Loved it. but any sling or wrap would do. but when house work needed to get done and Elsie still wanted to be held, it was great. Also wonderful for airports and airplanes :)
so happy for you and can't wait to hear more about your little one!!
On a unrelated note- I'm very sorry about your grandpa, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! glad there is peace that he is now in more glory and greatness than we can even imagine, enjoying that with sweet Mealee!!
love you!
Erin Simon
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