Cameo.

Greg's job at KAT Communication is busy. He is way, way more busy than good 'ol BCBS of SC. Way. Much more rewarding, of course, but still much more intense. He does get to be a part of some neat projects. A few weeks ago he learned how to fly a drone so he could help out getting aerial shots for video shoots. That's cool, right?

Drone. Basically a video game with a real helicopter with video capabilities.

Mesmerized by said drone.

Captivated by same drone and desperately wanting to be taken by the aliens.

And when they needed to quick do a commercial for the ND Highway Patrol and an hour before the video shoot a family was needed, Greg stepped up. I was actually working at that time but he texted and said he had to pick up the kids from daycare for a shoot. Earlier that day, we had our Christmas card photos taken. So when you get our card in the mail, you'll know because they are all wearing these same outfits from the video. You can see Greg holding Annalee in a few bits of the video. And Eli debuts at minute 2:48. How cute is he?!

http://1.usa.gov/ZQbU3w

Anyone want to move to ND and work for the Highway Patrol? You should. 

-Heather

Holding On.

We are holding onto fall as much as we possibly can. Praise God for the awesome weather this month. Really it has been pretty fabulous for October in ND and I am so grateful. It's done something good to my soul to have some warmth left. Seeing 67 degrees in my van as I'm driving to pick up the kiddos, that helps.

At work I sometimes walk from our building to the main medical center. It's a few blocks. When it's nice, it's a lovely walk! Last Wednesday a co-worker and I were walking and I made us stop to take photos of these beautiful yellow leaves on a sweet blue sky backdrop. And today that same co-worker and I walked by those same trees:

Pretty depressing, huh?

Enjoy autumn in ND because it goes so very quickly! Seasons!

Last night we did a quick stop by Grandma and Grandpa's and enjoyed s'mores, for the first time this year, actually. Eli was a big fan of everything about our hour there!

Why we live so close to them!

And tonight Greg was working late so it was just me on the kiddos. I decided park time was in order and we would ENJOY the fact we just needed a hat to cut the cold wind. It was 25 minutes well spent (and happy to have this park a minute's drive from our house)!

Swinging Siblings

Enjoy whatever season you may have now...

-Heather

Mike & Bri.

Greg's cousin Mike was married yesterday. It was a beautiful ceremony, including a shout out to John and Maelee in heaven which was unexpected and overwhelmingly sweet. Such a solid couple. And what fun celebrating all that God has done in bringing them together!

We hired sitters so we could enjoy the wedding and reception/dance. Great idea! We had a blast!

He handed out programs for two minutes, maybe. But he looked cute!

A big fan of the bride. Welcome to the family Bri!

First Dance! Adorable coupleness.

We really did have a blast! Thanks to my MIL for taking my camera from me for this!

Congrats Mike & Bri!

I forgot to get their gift out of the van, then we took the car to the reception/dance... and it's still in the van. Whoops. Maybe when they have kids someday (in nine months), they will understand! 

-Heather

Famously Hot.

It's hot here!!! I'm so happy. It was too cold, too fast a few weeks ago so this week of warm has been just lovely. I feel like it'll be easier to get through winter if it waits to come. Common sense yo. Not too many times we North Dakotans will beat Famously Hot's weather but we did today. (I'll mention it hit records so it's a fluke but we won't dwell there).

This kid. Treasure. Hard-to-parent treasure, but a treasure. 

I need to see beauty sometimes, to awake my soul to the greater Beauty. Glad for date night with this view for a bit tonight: 

I enjoyed connecting with my husband sans kids (thank you grandma and grandpa!). Sigh. It's been a crazy year. 

A week. Then our little missy will be ONE YEAR old, on her way out of baby status. Gah! So excited to celebrate her. I started taking video of her shaking her head "no", it's so cute. And took great pics with my camera of her lately too. Love taking effort in capturing her. 

-Heather

Scotty's.

It's cold. Cool. I'm sure this weather will feel great next spring but after days of hot, 48 degrees is cold.

This morning both kiddos had shots at the doctor. Ouch. 

So spontaneous lunch dates with daddy are a must to boost morale. Even better we made it a picnic in the back of the van!

Way too many fries. 

Mouths stuffed with Scotty's fries. 

-Heather

Home.

Thank you Lord!

Can you spot the portapotty? Or the Grammy? 

-Heather

Move It.

Stuff!

Moving in is hard work but so worth it! So thankful for friends and family that helped us move our belongings! 

-Heather

Finally.

This last week has been nothing short of wacky. A real crazy week that involved four beds in four nights, two different bug scares and resulting cleaning frenzy, a fun Kasowski family reunion in Buffalo, my parents arriving in town, a “there’s no way the house will be done by Thursday” thought to “yes, it will be done!” and lastly, some sickness and infections due to stress. I may be going slightly bonkers.

BUT Lord willing, TOMORROW IS THE DAY! We should be closing on our home in the late afternoon and then filling a moving truck with our stuff, begging the few young men we know here to help unload and we shall be *finally* in our own space again, just shy of the year mark living with Greg’s parents. Holy buckets, that’s a long time.

My in-laws have been beyond gracious to us, letting us overtake their home and never giving them a break. We are so indebted to them for their sacrifice this last almost-year. Thank you, Mom and Dad K, for all you’ve been and given to us this year. We couldn’t have done this move without you. I can’t wait for you to have your home back and for you all to have a breather, you so deserve one. I am glad for all the memories and I anticipate many, many great stories in the years to come. Save my wise FIL, none of us saw it lasting this long. It is only by God’s grace that we have survived and that we still like each other! I’m excited to finally live in the same town as them but not the same house! It’ll be more how we envisioned it a year ago.

Wow. One year ago we were packing up SC and we had no idea what this next year would hold (we might not have moved had we known!). The move, the foot, the unknown of Annalee’s birth outcome, her extreme fussiness, our SC house taking a big hit then finally selling, to the building process continual delays… what a year. Praise the Lord we have our daughter here and her story is just that much more interesting because of all this! Oh Annalee, you are almost out of the storage room, honey!

I know the next weeks will still be insane as we unpack and get settled. Plus we will be in a construction zone for who knows how long and I’m sure that’ll drive me batty for a while, too. (The road next to us isn’t even built yet, for goodness sakes). But just having room to breathe will be such a gift. Cooking in my kitchen! Using my own stuff! Potty training! Having my MIL over for coffee! I’m so looking forward to our space and I do hope never to take it for granted.

More soon as this becomes official and we start moving and unpacking.

-Heather

PS – My public service announcement for the day: do not let a bird nest near your house, like under your deck. It’s a bad, terrible idea. Even if you think it’d be fun for your grandkid to see those little birdies hatch. Because there are these nasty hard-to-identify things called bird mites that will cause much stress and work and laundry going for two days straight. Just don’t.

Six Eighteen.

My sweet girl slept through the night of the 17th. I woke up the morning of my birthday one happy mom. Glorious!

Then my dear husband brought me breakfast in bed (he told me that I once told him I wouldn't like breakfast in bed because of crumbs...but now I must be more lax because I told him it sounded lovely!). Then my Dad came into town and stayed the whole day! We ate at a local diner (knoefla soup!). They gave free kuchen for my bday (which I gave to Greg) and they gave Eli a free cookie just because he asked. 

Eli: "Can I have a cookie?"

Lady: "For you today it's free!"

Me: takes cookie, gives Eli one bite then sneekily eats the rest with Grandpa. I mean, come on, it was right before nap time!

Eli was exceptionally sweet that day. He does this thing where he comes up to me and says "I love you, mama" with a hug. Pretty sure it would melt even the hardest of hearts. And later he told me I was the best ever in the world, complete with the circular hand motions he does to show something large. Love that boy. 

My dad made my favorite meal that night. Walleye (he caught in Canada the week prior), boiled potatoes, corn. So, so good.

Later I was taking pics of the kids and accidentally took one of just me that showed my hair looking super red! No gray! It's coming more and more and I do not anticipate the day I'll start dying it. May I make it another year plus!

Cool quick moving clouds that night:

Grateful for another year alive. 

-Heather

6-27?

New closing date: June 27.

Let's hope that's it! We are all looking forward to that day!

-Heather

Annalee's 8 month pics are taken. Promise. Just not off my camera. I was about to work on that today but got distracted. Imagine that. 

Slate Gray.

Our house is being built slowly but surely. I am anxious for it to get done, but I do want to be done right. We are still waiting for them to pour concrete in the basement. But it has been so cold and wet that really only the last week has it had a chance to dry. Once they pour the concrete, things will get rolling fast. We are supposed to close on June 13. We shall see if that actually happens. We think probably a few weeks after that... But for sure by the first week in July. 

I am so excited and mostly peace-filled with our house decision. I think it's going to be a great fit for us for years to come. It will have plenty enough space for us to live now on two floors and then enough space with the two unfinished floors for the future. I'll share more of the floor plan later with photos but the basics of it: it's a multi-level, three bedrooms and two baths on the top (no more storage closet Annalee!), kitchen/dining/living on the main floor. The other two levels unfinished but will plan for two more bedrooms along with another bathroom and a big living area and loads of organized, labeled storage. 

We may be broke for awhile, folks, but we will have our own place that we can truly settle in (this side of heaven). We were not looking to build a brand-new house, this came on suddenly and sort of randomly. We were driving and saw this house, met the guy that was working on the roof who called the builder on his phone. We ended up going over to meet him that night. We also met the next day at the model similar to ours and after some more conversations decided to make an offer and work directly with him. We get along well (he's got a great eye for design) and so far it's been a good experience. I'll let you know in a month if I can still say the same.

I'm picking out colors and interiors. I wish my mom was here but I'm having fun with it and trying to not go overboard. Here's our outside scheme (my goal was not beige): 

Middle gray is the majority. Blue is front. Off white is trim. Bam. 

Photos to come soon. The biggest perk is probably that our kids can walk to Grandma and Grandpa's house. You can see our roof from their windows. We want to move out but not that far! I guess that's a good thing all considering. 

I can't wait to have you over for coffee. 

-Heather

$$$ Anniversary Present.

Nine years with this amazing man. And he went ALL out this year and bought me a house!

Details soon!

-Heather

Made It.

Made it through a week of full-time work. All you moms out there that do that each week, I salute you. I'm tired. It didn't help that Greg's mom was gone all week and Greg relapsed into sickness plus we didn't have consistent care for Eli so he was balanced between two friends all week. Uff-da. But we all made it!

We have found great temporary care for Eli starting Monday so that's a big relief. I've spent too much time searching and interviewing. Perhaps you are wondering why it's taken so long or why we don't just stick him in a daycare center. Well, there are no openings in any of the center-type facilities. In one he would have been #9 on the waiting list. Others didn't even have waiting lists! It's just crazy for anyone looking for childcare here. So I'm glad we are set there for awhile and I am confident our kids will be well taken care of two-to-three days a week. That's big.

Now we just need to find a house. Looked at a very nice, newer home today but the location was meh and there was a detached garage. Who builds houses with detached garages in North Dakota these days? That's just not practical! In our price range, there are so few homes that we aren't going to get to be very picky yet at the same time, I have some deal breakers and the attached garage is one of them. We just need one home. And soon, please.

Annalee and I head to Fargo Monday night to fly to South Carolina Tuesday morning. I am so looking forward to catching up with friends, introducing Annalee to a sweet southern drawl, eating Chick-fil-A, and soaking up the sun. It's going to be a great week!

-Heather

Fitting Centerpiece.

I was able to work all day Thursday and Friday. It was pretty great. I am excited about the position and what I'll be doing and who I'll be working with. But at the start of my first day, I was feeling super guilty about leaving Eli and Annalee. Super worst-mom-of-all-time guilt.

But then I walked into this luncheon that I was attending for work and lo and behold, tulips! Pink! All over! This week of all weeks! It was a very small but meaningful encouragement to me that it's going to be okay, that my going back to work part-time is not going to ruin Eli or Annalee. Then I even got to take the (fake) pink tulips back to my desk. How great is that!?

I have lots I'm processing in between the stress of our lives and I do hope to share some of that soon. The nice thing about this being crazy busy is no time to mope about what happened the worst day of our lives four years ago. Grateful for the time that has healed the sting and the grace God has given us in this journey. For sure.

I also have tried to get Annalee's six month photos taken all today but she is just not a happy camper (a cold, maybe teething, little fever) but when I do take them, I'll share more about her latest accomplishments (maybe not the right word, it's not like she's accomplished in violin or anything).

-Heather

Sold!

It really did! It's so sad and depressing but very relieving. I bet the Maelee tulips are blooming there right now and I do hope the new owner loves them! Such memories and life in that little house. 

-Heather

PS - Thanks to our good friend Ben for being our power of attorney and signing his life away for us today!

Now on to finding a home here...

Drama Mama.

I am ready for some normalcy to come. I am ready to not have a long list of crazy filling my days. I yearn for settledness instead of drama!

Greg was sick. Praise God not terminally ill but just bad sick. Horrible timing as I had orientation Monday and Annalee's first day of daycare. Also ironic timing was a nasty blizzard Monday. I made it to 12:30 then my family needed me and the unknown storm added chaos... though to be honest forging through snow drifts in my mini-van was somewhat exciting. The rest of the day was tough, trying to manage the kids and sick daddy and prepare for the next day. I have no idea how single working moms do it. Unless they live with their mom-in-law like me... she's such a gift to us in this crazy. I just wish we didn't suck all her energy!

Sigh. Not a stellar first impression to leave orientation a half day early and then today to miss my first full day in the office. This morning I was showing symptoms of Greg's sickness plus a migraine. I really didn't want to give germs. Greg was all better, thankfully, and the kids were taken care of so I had most of the day to rest and finish laundry. I'm feeling better with my head still swirling a bit. I really think I just got a mild case of sick and a big case of exhaustion. Eli was up once and Annalee was up four times last night. Seriously this girl needs a schedule!! 

I am excited about my job with a solidly. great employer and flexible, understanding co-workers and boss. I did say I like to do monumental life things during snowstorms. Though I was sort of wondering if all this was showing me I shouldn't go back to work. This whole having a job and young kids is a new concept for us. Heck, just having a job again is a feat! I keep telling myself it's just part-time. 

Oh and our house is closing tomorrow. I hope this is true and I never have to say that again!

Allll this happening as we enter into Maelee's week. Gulp. Lord how we need your grace daily and this week is no exception. 

Hoping for gentleness to lead the remainder of this week. 

Instagram pics from yesterday and today:

-Heather

In One Week.

One week from today...

• I'll be in my new office learning to have a job job again. Last week I was trying on various work pants not in storage and I found a faded receipt in a pocket from May 12, 2009. That's the last month I worked a "real job". Almost five years. It was a bit scary, wondering if my brain can handle thinking about work after this long, wondering how I will handle the work/life balance with two kiddos. It was also good because I found $12 cash with those pants and they still fit after three babies (props to that nice stretchy material). Holla!
• Our daughter will have been in daycare for the second day of her little life. Greg's sister sends her daughter (sweet Alexia) to a lady that is going to take Annalee as well. She's going to watch her full time for the first two weeks then willing to do part-time after we get back from SC. I love that Alexia and Annalee will be together for a bit! 
• Eli will be in his first day of "daycare" and really it's not daycare! Grandma is watching him Monday then Tuesday, Thursday and Friday a new friend from church is going to be taking Eli. She's got two boys so I think it'll be good for him. We are still working on figuring out other temporary care for him as we have a nice Grandma-like lady that is going to watch both kids starting in the fall. There are lots of good things about her/the situation and we are grateful! We just need to make sure we are set until she's ready for them in the fall. We are trying to find someone to watch them both for the summer. This all has been much stress for me! Lots of transition for our kiddos and definitely some mama guilt for me.
• I'll probably be scaling back pumping or stopping entirely. I badly want to stop and I badly want to keep going. It's bizarre. I am dreading it and anticipating it both! I'm so hesitate to have Annalee try formula but I know we must. I'm not making enough plus I need to not explode while at work. I tried unsuccessfully to get her to latch again today in hopes she could nurse every morning and night still. #wishfulthinking 
• And lastly, our little house down in South Carolina will hopefully have a new owner. We are still slated to close on the 31st and crossing our fingers that is so! We are so ready to find a home here and make it ours! 
• Oh and it'll be April! The sweetest month!

-Heather

Our Neck...

We found out last week our SC house is now not closing until the 31st. Another few weeks of wondering and waiting. As long as it actually does sell, it's not a huge hiccup. Fingers crossed.

We have looked at a few homes here but so far nothing is "it". There isn't much out there but our realtor assures us once we have a week of warm weather, the houses will come! We are greatly anticipating this - I'm ready to have all our stuff in some order and feel settled here in B-town. Plus I know my dear MIL is ready to spring clean her house and have their space back!

But even more anxiety-causing for me today: the childcare option for the kiddos fell through this morning. So we are back to square one. I know it's going to be hard to leave our kiddos wherever we find, but finding good daycare will make that so much less stressful.  We haven't lived here long enough to be connected. I just know if we were in SC, looking for someone to watch them 2-3 days a week would not be a problem!  I'm thinking we may end up splitting them up because Eli is more ready for a preschool type format. But we shall see. I've made loads of inquiries so I'll keep trudging through.

Gratefully, on Sunday when we got home it was 62 degrees. Praise the Lord for the break from bitter cold. I'm sure it'll be back for a bit before spring actually comes... but I won't think about that just now.

That's a little update... from our neck of the woods.

-Heather

New Horizon.

Since we packed up and left South Carolina last July, I feel like we've been in a bit of a wilderness time of life. Not that we haven't been abundantly blessed (hello Annalee) but it has been a hard season. Not near as hard as losing Maelee, but we have learned circumstances in life can surely affect how life feels day-to-day. Of course we are alive and healthy with a host of good things. Yet at the same time, I'm pretty sure I've consumed more chocolate in this last year than my whole life combined (it is cheaper than an anti-depressant I suppose!).

Gratefully, however, I feel like we about to walk away from this type of wilderness and move on to some different scenery for awhile. Reasons?

1. I was offered (and accepted) that part-time job I applied for awhile back! I'm very excited! The job seems to be a great fit. I'll post more on that once I'm into it. One perk is I don't have to start until we find childcare for Eli and Annalee. Such a blessing to have time for this! It's going to be hard to find quality care and part-time (it looks like I'll work two days a week one week, then three days the next week - to equal 40 hours every two weeks). Please pray and let us know if you have any connections/leads for us! I'm hoping to start March 31 but can start later if need be... the job is flexible. What a gift! My boss is actually the mom of one of the students I advised back in my UND days. And she's a big proponent of a positive workplace atmosphere. How lovely!
2. Our SC house is still slated to close on the 14th of March. Oh that it would all go smoothly!
3. We are now getting to the point we can buy a home here! And in 30 minutes, we are going for the first time to look at houses! Prices here are insane (groan) but we are hopeful. Greg's parents have been more than gracious but we are all ready! Oh I am so excited to organize and have our own space again. Plus I think I only have like three pairs of shoes not in storage. And maybe two pairs of non-jeans. Going to be hard to be professional Heather without my pants! Here's to hoping we find a place that works for us and that I'm not sucked into thinking perfect house = perfect life.
4. Pumping is going to be ending in the next month or so. Yay! Our plan was to start transitioning A so I'm not pumping when we go to SC April 15 (that trip is still on even with the job - booyah!). The last two days I pumped one time less and that extra time was so wonderful! Hoping Annalee transitions well to formula and to me not feeling guilty about it.
5. Weather. It's SO very, very cold right now. But in one month or two, it will be nice. It will be nice. It will be nice. 
6. Annalee has been waking up three times a night and Eli once. Uffda. But that can't last. She will get better at this schedule thing as we ourselves get more scheduled with wake-up times (to get to work). Well, I'm hoping at least.
7. We are decently settled on a church and will be getting more involved as we make that commitment. 
8. We have a few quick trips and big trips planned! Life just always seems brighter when you have an event to look forward to!

That's just a bit of what we have going on right now. Thanks for sticking with us through this tough spot. I can't wait to share life as we knock off a few more big steps in the next months.

-Heather

Contract and Such.

We have our South Carolina house under contract to close mid-March!

Enter applause and general gratitude!

It's a little underwhelming, perhaps, because we are going to be paying money to sell it... so that's a downer. But overall we are glad to be able to close that chapter and be able to move forward. Actually we are sad to close that chapter but you know what I mean.

We hope everything with the buyer and their lender works out so that we really do close mid-March. Their realtor is perhaps not quite on top of things. But the buyer's lending company is legit and I guess that's more important. So we hope for all that to get tied up nicely. With a bow.

And here's to hoping we'll be able to find a home here that could be our home for years to come. Many details are unknown on that, loan-wise and whatnot, but we are hopefully going to get that ball rolling soon. The market here is less than ideal for buyers.


In other news, I am thinking about finding a part-time job (in my ideal situation, I'd work part-time and stay home part-time). Finding good part-time daycare and finding a job worth it for me is admittedly quite a long stretch. Greg looked one day and found a job he thought sounded fitting for me. I applied for it and actually got an interview last week. I think it could be a super great fit but I understand they may not think so and that's okay. It was a gift to just do an interview and let professional Heather out a bit. Again, it's really a long shot to find a part-time job I really want to do, get offered it, have it pay well enough and find great part-time daycare for our two littles. We shall see.
 
-Heather