I have a Hallmark ornament for every year since I was born. And when we got married, the tradition kept going. We have Our First Christmas from 2005, New House 2007, and last year the cute preggo lady holding pickles and ice cream. So when I went to Hallmark this year to pick out our ornament, I should have known it wasn't going to be easy.
And I lost it. Totally lost it in the store. I tried not to look but I found this wonderful little first Christmas rattle that would have been perfect. Perfect. So then I tried looking at all the other ornaments to figure out what to get. I couldn't do it. I finally just gave up and left.
Hard stuff. I am filled to the brim with dreams of what Christmas was supposed to be for our family. The traditions, like our yearly ornament, that we would have kept. The new traditions we would have started like reading the Christmas story together, decorating the tree and talking about what the star on top means. Sigh. Someday, Lord willing, we will get to experience these dreams... but for now, it is a lonely month with just us (and baby inside).
Thankfully Greg and I are in this together. I am blessed with a husband that can grieve with me. So we went online together and picked out our ornament for the year. And Hallmark, thank you for having a perfectly fitting ornament for our family this year.
Here it is. The inscription says: Every life leaves something beautiful behind.
A lovely pearl. Oh daughter, how we love and miss you here with us this month.And thanks to the Lord, for leaving us something truly beautiful: Hope.
Near this ornament is another one dear to us. A silver bell that reads "Christmas 2008" - the day our first baby was due (lost to ectopic pregnancy in April 2008). It's really the only item we have to remember that life by, so it's a treasure to put it up every year near the top of the tree. The top of our tree is becoming quite special.
-Heather
5 comments:
Now that put a lump in my throat... love you guys.
I cry as I read this. Oh how we would have loved to shower Maelee with kisses and hugs and gifts from Grandpa and Grandma. We too found a perfect ornament for your tree, a beautiful pink castle with "Maelee Linn" inscribed on it. It reminded me that she is celebrating Advent with Jesus in the mansion built by Him. We will give you the ornament when we see you in December. I pray for you many times a day and wish I could just sit and grieve together.
Mom K.
This is truly hard to read. I thought about you guys all day today. I couldn't bring myself to talk to Greg at all today because my emotions have been a bit all over the place. I didn't want to lose it in Greg's cube and make him feel worse. I love you four very much. I'm always here. I think about Maelee often. I think about you and Greg often. I think about the book Steve from work has that is titled "Jesus has a rocking chair" and it brings me to my knees. I hate that Christmas is hard.
-Court
So glad you found this beautiful ornament. Such a great reminder. And the bell is beautiful too. So hard to see you grieving through this season, and we are still grieving with you and for you too. And we are so glad that you are grieving with the Hope of the Savior Christ whose coming this whole season is for...
We are hurting for you, with you.... and looking ahead with Hope...
...and lots of love and prayers-
jill and matt
Oh that Maelee were here with you now....but what a beautiful thing to know that, like Mary said, Maelee is celebrating Advent with Jesus in His mansion! And He continues to prepare a place for the rest of us! I love you guys and pray daily for you all!
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