It involved a 45 minute ultrasound of our girl and then a shorter meeting with the doctor. The initial nurse who took all my info was one of the nicest I've ever had. She was so empathetic, she even asked Maelee's name! It's a gift when someone asks questions about your loss and especially in the medical field, such a gift when they make it personal instead of just a fact on record. Plus she got me ice and a pillow for my foot! I considered taking a nice nap I was so comfy in that low-lit room!
Baby girl moved often. She wasn't breech anymore which was good (though she could still flip around again). Everything looked fine and normal. Her femur bone was on the smaller side but still within normal range. He showed me the charts to clarify this, he wasn't worried about dwarfism or anything. But if the ultrasound has anything to say, she'll be short. Sorry baby, that's all me.
He asked a few clarifications about what went down with Maelee, though I don't think I was really able to answer them as much as he'd like (he did say how hard it is when there is no definite medical answer for why she died). He affirmed what my SC doctor prescribed, he wants me to stay on my lovenox injections. He talked about the research for one of my blood clotting disorders, it's not official that lovenox is precisely the treatment but it has shown that there are better results being on it versus not. (I wholeheartedly agree). The other blood clotting disorder I have he said he doesn't even concern himself with, it's so common in the population. Whatever. I was just glad he was on board with what my doctor in SC was about: lovenox, baby aspirin, prenatal vitamin.
The downside is that he had no samples (oh how I miss my SC doc!) and since our insurance with COBRA still looks inactive (even though we paid that blasted premium), I had to pay for my shots out of pocket. Hopefully insurance/COBRA will get their bums in gear before I run out again in twelve days. What a hassle! But we will do whatever we can to get that shot in my belly each day and care for our baby girl as best we can!
The doctor also told me I may have a little hairline fracture in my foot and could go get it x-rayed and they'd most likely boot me up. I told him it wasn't bad enough for that, yet, but I suppose if the darn thing doesn't heal soon I may have to go that route. Sanford did wonderful in carting me to the right elevator via golf cart when I got there and then picking me up in the courtesy shuttle right to my car. Great service!
The doctor also made a game plan for the rest of my care (here in Bismarck, won't have to go see him in Fargo again unless something goes goofy I suppose). When I hit 32 weeks coming up, I need to have twice weekly bio-physical ultrasounds and non-stress tests on baby. I'll be at the doctor often and we will be watching baby girl like a hawk. This is good... but there is always a part of me that says "that's all fine and dandy but we did weekly ultrasounds with Maelee at the end, too, with one just three days before she died and all seemed fine." There is no guarantee. We are not in control and we trust God for each day we get with this little darling, as hard as it is to let go.
Speaking of control, on my drive to Fargo, I had a semi almost ram me on the interstate changing into my lane and not seeing me... it happened quickly but I was half in the left-hand ditch stunned for a moment about how I got there. I suppose I could have sung that bad country song "Jesus take the wheel" but I didn't. I did thank Him for keeping me and baby safe and the car okay to get to that appointment! Glad I was driving in ND, too, where you can see what's coming for miles and there weren't any cars directly behind me.
The downside is that he had no samples (oh how I miss my SC doc!) and since our insurance with COBRA still looks inactive (even though we paid that blasted premium), I had to pay for my shots out of pocket. Hopefully insurance/COBRA will get their bums in gear before I run out again in twelve days. What a hassle! But we will do whatever we can to get that shot in my belly each day and care for our baby girl as best we can!
The doctor also told me I may have a little hairline fracture in my foot and could go get it x-rayed and they'd most likely boot me up. I told him it wasn't bad enough for that, yet, but I suppose if the darn thing doesn't heal soon I may have to go that route. Sanford did wonderful in carting me to the right elevator via golf cart when I got there and then picking me up in the courtesy shuttle right to my car. Great service!
The doctor also made a game plan for the rest of my care (here in Bismarck, won't have to go see him in Fargo again unless something goes goofy I suppose). When I hit 32 weeks coming up, I need to have twice weekly bio-physical ultrasounds and non-stress tests on baby. I'll be at the doctor often and we will be watching baby girl like a hawk. This is good... but there is always a part of me that says "that's all fine and dandy but we did weekly ultrasounds with Maelee at the end, too, with one just three days before she died and all seemed fine." There is no guarantee. We are not in control and we trust God for each day we get with this little darling, as hard as it is to let go.
Speaking of control, on my drive to Fargo, I had a semi almost ram me on the interstate changing into my lane and not seeing me... it happened quickly but I was half in the left-hand ditch stunned for a moment about how I got there. I suppose I could have sung that bad country song "Jesus take the wheel" but I didn't. I did thank Him for keeping me and baby safe and the car okay to get to that appointment! Glad I was driving in ND, too, where you can see what's coming for miles and there weren't any cars directly behind me.
Going to my dear friend's store in downtown Fargo after my appointment was a treat! I have been anxious to see it since they opened a year ago... I consumed delicious cupcakes and could have bought the whole store, or at least most of the baby gifts. I did buy one adorable little teether for our baby girl. In the shape of North Dakota. Heck yes!
Then I headed to Buffalo for the night at the G&G Kasowski hotel. Our happy place.
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| Buffalo, Alice exit at sunset time. |
And then I came back here to this kid. Who probably ate ten smoothies while I was gone! Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa and Daddy and Bri for taking care of him!
-Heather
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