I was very wary about this happening, hoping it wouldn't but it did. I didn't think I'd ever have to correct someone. I thought I wouldn't ever have to say the words. I figured hey, everyone that knew I was pregnant knows that Maelee died. I won't have to explain. I was wrong.
The post man came to the door today with our mail and packages. He said to me as I answered the door "Congratulations on your baby!"
I was in a moment of shock when I heard it. After a pause I was able to say, "Actually, our baby died."
Poor guy. I'm sure he felt horrible. He's a really nice guy. He's seen me very pregnant, now I'm obviously not. And he's probably seen all the many, oh way too many, parenting magazines and formula coupons and diaper samples sent to me. So he made the conclusion. Sadly the wrong conclusion.
He apologized. Said he was sorry a few times. Even asked how far along I was when she died.
I answered. I nodded. I closed the door. And lost it. I can replay the whole thing in my head over and over again. I just can't believe I have to say those words. I don't want to believe it.
I hope you never, ever have to say those words.
-Heather
9 comments:
heather, you are in my thoughts and prayers often. I wish there was
something more I could do, but
I read, I cry, I grieve with you.
- Ashley Murray
Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot
save; neither His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. Isaiah 59:1
I'm so sorry you had to have that experience, Heather. The poor mailman, too, he must have felt horrible. I have had a few of those super-ackward experiences as well, and I never know what to say. There's no way you can prepare for it! Now that I'm expecting again, people often ask, "So is this your first baby?" And I tell them, "No it's my fourth." And then if they ask more questions, I have to quickly decide what to tell them. Usually I say that I have two boys at home and a daughter in Heaven, but it is always so uncomfortable, and they look at me like I'm crazy! Hopefully you and Greg don't have any more of those conversations!
Lisa
Heather, I wish you and Greg didn't have to go through this pain. I can't think of anything worse than having to tell people that. Or deal with it at all. I'm just praying that God wraps y'all in His mighty hands as y'all live without Maelee on earth, and fills you with His peace that passes all understanding especially on the hard days.
I am so sorry Heather. I was just talking to a friend who lost their baby at 34 weeks in May. She just had one of those encounters and we had all too many as well. They are hard, and they take you by surprise. I am sorry you have to carry such a burden.
We love you and think about you all the time. Mom and Amber
Heather,
I am so sorry. I've written about 10 different sentences here, but I can't seem to say anything that seems appropriate except for I'm sorry. I hate that you are alone during the day and have to say things like that. I play out how I think things happened with Maelee in my head over and over again. I hate what you guys are going through. I wish it would all be better and Maelee would be here. I don't want you guys to hurt so much. I hope you never have to say those words again.
Love you three,
court
:-(
I know what you mean. Our little boy Evan Riley passed away in my arms at 4 days 2 hours old on June 22nd, 2010. Tomorrow (the 28th) is his burial and memorial services. We are dreading it.
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