Days.

I've talked before about the importance of dates to me. I don't know why they matter so much (oh silly me) but with Maelee, I've realized partly I make it a big deal because it's all we get. These days are hers because we don't get any other special days with her. Ever.

April 4th is when she died but we didn't know that and because it was Easter, there is some redeeming quality there. I talked last year about how April 5th is the worst, there is nothing good about the day we found out and I had to start labor. April 6th is better because we got to hold our baby girl, and it's her official birthday. So to me, today is hardest and toughest and maybe hurts the most.

But praise be, we've had such love and support shown this week. Our friend Sidni was with Eli and I most all day yesterday so I could make cupcakes. Today she brought a meal and came with Eli and I as we delivered them to a few friends around town. Other friends brought us yummy cookies and an edible arrangement to enjoy. Plus the notes and texts and messages... ah, I am so grateful for the friends that love us well and miss Maelee with us even three years later (and not think us crazy for still being sad). I don't know how people can lose a child without support and love through it. It's just not something meant to walk through alone.

She would have loved y'all. Really.

My get-to-keep-not-eat cupcake given to me yesterday by my dear, talented friend Cindy!

-Heather