Wish Today Was.

I wish today was Maelee's birthday. That would mean she would be here with us, our bubbly little red-headed girl. I remember being in the hospital those few days when I had the preeclampsia scare at 34 weeks and feeling like we just needed to make it to April. She'd be far enough along where things would be alright and you know I preferred an April birthday. I didn't want her born on April Fools Day, of course, but I thought April 2 would be a great day for her arrival. I thought all of this while sitting in that hospital bed and I remember it so clearly now, those wonderings of what the next weeks would hold and when she'd actually arrive. 

We saw her alive in an ultrasound on April 1, 2010. And I wish I could just go back there and have that person say she saw some stress, some panic in our baby and decide to induce. We could have had a April 2 baby girl. Then our story would be oh-so-different.

But, as you are well aware, we don't get to change our stories. And that's good. I mean, we don't want to live in a world where we are ultimately in control. No no no. Instead, we keep trusting the One who is in control and who promises to make all things right and will end the story with victory.

Thanks for the tulips, Am. I love them.

-Heather