Hope Does Not Disappoint.

Grief. It's a word normally associated with death. Because of Maelee, we have known it well. It's taken up residence in our house and we have curled up next to it on the couch too many times. But I have learned that grief is something that doesn't belong solely to death. It is in the aftermath of many types of tragedies or circumstances, too numerous to name. And I could bet all the tea in China that you have experienced it. I never quite put a name to it when it hit us two years ago. I started working at CIU (where Greg is getting his MDiv) coordinating campus visits but eventually was offered a new position I would say was close to my dream job helping first year students transition well. The job was in a great office, working with great people, doing something needed and significant. And it fit me well. Sadly because it was a brand new position, it was the first to go with all the budget cuts resulting from the recession. We found out only months into it that the position would be cut as of May 2009. So I worked for four months trying to plan orientation events that I knew I wouldn't get to be a part of and doing a lot of organizing. And then I was jobless. I had tried finding a new job but higher ed positions were significantly lacking. I had one interview where there were over 350 applicants for one position. Ah I'm getting away from my point... I realized later that I really had been grieving my job loss. I had poured myself into my jobs and my employer (that's how I roll) and when it was taken from me, I went through an array of emotions. Sadness. Anger. Hurt. Bitterness. Frustration. Jealousy. Disappointment. Looking back those emotions sort of mirrored the stages of grieving. And just driving onto campus at times in the last two years would bring up these emotions for both Greg and I. I'd say grief has been a large part of our lives specifically since being in South Carolina. Leaving our lives, family in ND. Ectopic Pregnancy. My job. Maelee. Grief looks and feels different depending on the circumstances. And of course, I'd lose a thousand jobs before losing a child. But any significant loss is going to hurt. And it's going to take time to process. So if you find yourself grieving the loss of someone, something little or monumental, give yourself time to grieve well. Grieve out loud. Grieve knowing it's not hopeless. "and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:5 And if you know someone is grieving, walk alongside them, love on them. Our dear friends have been experiencing the loss of not one but two failed adoptions (where the birth mom decides to parent at the last minute) in the past few months. We've tried to join them in their grief. To let them know we are devastated with them. To let them know it's okay to not be okay. -Heather