Monday, March 30, 2015

Maelee's Season.

(Just found this draft in my list, didn't realize it didn't post that first week in March).

By some crazy miracle, this last week's weather here has been glorious. I saw 70 degrees on my van temp gauge two days ago. It may not have been that warm, but 40's, 50's, 60's... it's all so welcomed and enjoyed. Going outside does not hurt to breathe. You can wear a light jacket or no coat at all. Even boots are being tossed aside for a shoe worn with no socks. It's just wonderful to feel and smell spring like it really should be.

And all this awesome weather that we normally don't get here has spurred something deep in me because, you know, it's her season. Five years ago the weather was spring in it's finest, daffodils bursting, pollen full-on assaulting our lives in South Carolina. Normally we wouldn't have that type of spring weather here in March that could remind me of little moments five years ago. Those days where we started the end of our time with her, the bed rest, the concern, the anticipation, the monitoring all for naught.

It being five years also leads me to stop and think on it. Another year. Another milestone. Five is a big one. She would be entering kindergarten in the fall. It would have been a big year for her. I can dream and grieve all of this. That's okay.

I can also say with all my being that she is still worth the suffering. I am so grateful I had her, even if I didn't get to bring her home. I am not the One who gives and takes away. And I am so very thankful for all that I know because of her loss, because of this suffering and our tragedy. It is not for nothing. Life is messy. Life is weird. Life is a ball full of "what the..." and hard to understand events. Going through deep pain brings a realness to life and a bit of a fast forward pass in understanding some truths. Thank the Lord for all of this, the good in death and pain.

-Maelee's Mom

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Catch Up On Sleep.

Greg and I are celebrating (one month early) ten years married. Boom. We went from very young marrieds twenty-somethings, to well into our thirties and double digits of being together. Wowzers. Since I'm the youngest in my family, and my extended family mostly too, it feels a bit odd. I've always thought of myself as the young one. Now I'm getting older (and all my family is getting super older (ha ha ha Am, how do you like them apples?!)). Of course, I really am still young (I'm not one of those people thinking I'm old already) but I'm old enough to not be all crazy hip and my hair is fastly going gray (another post for another day). I shall embrace it all, God willing, with grace. And with Greg.

Ah, I am glad for marriage with this guy. And so grateful for him and for this time together with him and not our kids. It helps to have focused conversation, uninterrupted sleep, and no responsibilities.
We were on a boat.

Florida is great. Allegiant flies direct here and for a decent price. Plus Father Uncle Tony is here with his parish and connections so it's an even better and cheap vacation. We would have rather gone to SC and seen all our friends, but it wouldn't have been relaxing and one-on-one like this. We will save that for a trip with the kiddos (in 2016?!?).

And a BIG shout out to our parents for taking the kids this week. Y'all are amazing and part of why we have a strong marriage (both sets of parents (and grandparents) all still married? now that is a legacy to live these days). Miss those cuties but we are assured they are in the best of hands.


Friday, March 27, 2015

TBT File.

I have a folder on my desktop. "Photos and Videos to FILE or DELETE or LABEL" it says. Just like that. And I decided to find a photo from the earliest/first folder within that folder.

There you go. Anyone guess how old he is here?

Ok, I'll tell you. 19 months. Annalee will be that in May. This was November 2012.

That's how far back I have to go in order to put order to my photos. Not entirely true, as I have most of 2014 organized (because I realized my current way of doing things was NOT going to cut it and I got smart and now have a better system, praise be). But I still have a good two years plus I need to go back and weed through. Which, you know, is sort of fun. In the #tbt spirit and all.

Maybe I'll do some of that on this here vacation. Maybe not. No stressing allowed.


Thursday, March 26, 2015


For my sister. 

After landing, we drove out of the way to zaxbys (SC fav). Then to the beach. We woke up in bismarck and hours later feet in sand. That is a nice day. 


Monday, March 16, 2015


Last year I bought these two dolls on Amazon for a Christmas donation thing for kids. They showed up and the red head was significantly shorter than the blond doll and it was just so cute. I didn't keep them, however, because I bought them for kids with not many toys and that would have been selfish. I did, however, remember what doll it was and put it on Annalee's wish list. So Auntie Amy bought it for Annalee's first birthday. It's adorable. And it looks like her. Last week I just had to dress Annalee up to match because I was off work for a week and Eli was at preschool... so obviously matching cuteness was a perfect spur-of-the-moment idea. It paid off for sure:

I'm loving pigtails and pink, in case you were wondering:

But I'm still loving super heros and these blue eyes, too:

-The Mom

Monday, March 9, 2015

So Many Photos.

I'm seriously behind on photos in the last months. I'm plugging away at Christmas photos, making my Shutterfly album (that is getting crazy long). It's pretty great having fun family times to capture in an album. I will look at my stack of albums when I'm older and reminisce and laugh and well up with tears because I'm a sentimental sap.

Since our time in Arizona was so beautiful, I finally got some fun shots of the kids being outside. Though this week is WARM here in ND so we will get more outside time. Hip Hip Hooray!!

Here's just a few from our last full day with Grammy and Gramps:

There were hummingbirds all over the place. Mainly because my parents have loads of feeders so they all know "hey go to the Tysse's for some good grub."

Our "spring" photo album is looking to be another long one!