A Scare.

Yesterday was a scary day for us. And today, thanks to about 4+ inches of snow and some soon freezing rain, Greg and I are in our sweatpants having a peaceful snow day. What a difference one day can make...

It started out with us going back to our home church. For a year and a half or so, we have been part of a new church (started from our home church) in a town about 35 miles away. But we felt it was time to end our season there (tear!) and transition back to our home church. So yesterday was our first Sunday back in about a year. And the last time we were in a service there ... exactly 9 months ago for Maelee's funeral.

I had a feeling it was going to be tough walking into the sanctuary. It was indeed. All the memories of her sweet, gut-wretching funeral came flooding back ... along with some serious tears. I'm glad I have longish hair to cover my face! We came in a bit late so we sat in the back and we left right when the service ended.

But the scary part of our day happened when we got home. I went to the bathroom and I had a little spotting (I'll spare you the details). Spotting during pregnancy is quite normal. However, I never, ever spotted when I was pregnant with Maelee and haven't with this guy, either, until yesterday. Thus, we welcome completely freaked-out pregnant Heather to the story.

Since I find myself too often on the nasty wrong side of percentages out there, my mind can easily go through all the wacked-out possible nightmare scenarios. I knew that it was probably nothing ... but like I've said before, even though we lost Maelee, that doesn't give us a "free ticket" to bring home our next baby happy and healthy. There are no guarantees. We've been asking the Lord to give us this baby boy alive and healthy, but that doesn't mean that God will (painful, hard truth indeed).

I called our doctor's office and explained my situation to the answering service lady. The doctor (not my regular doctor but one of the three in the practice) called back within 5 minutes. After my brief explanation and a few questions, he told me everything was probably just fine but that he could be at the office in 45 minutes if I wanted. He said that about four times. I was about to say, well, as long as I feel baby move today I'll just wait until tomorrow to come in ... but then I looked at Greg and quick decided that would be dumb. So I told the doc we'd be there.

The next 50 minutes were emotional needless to say. We experienced many feelings and worries strikingly similar to some of what we felt as we drove to the doctor on April 5 and into the worst moment of our lives. We both weren't quite as freaked out as we could have been and I'd say that probably was a combo of the Lord giving us peace and the past nine months of wisdom and experience coming into play.

The office was eerily quiet on a Sunday afternoon as we waited for the doctor. We were beyond thankful that he was so willing to come in and ease our anxiety. He found baby boy's heartbeat very quickly. We breathed a big sigh of relief at that glorious sound. He then went on to inspect everything else. And basically he thinks the source of the spotting was just a popped blood vessel. Too much coughing and sneezing the past ten days caused a little vessel to pop and me being on lovenox and baby aspirin makes any little blood flow and flow. I knew there was a reason I hated this blasted cold virus so much!

The words the doctor said as we got ready to leave sum those two hours up quite well: "peace of mind is priceless." I figured it was probably nothing but actually having the doctor tell me everything is fine, and knowing for sure that our boy is alive ... well, I needed that yesterday.

So join us in again thanking God for getting us through a tough moment. And for giving us such a wonderful doctor's practice for this pregnancy... a true blessing.

And to top it all off, I get to have some real snow. Last year we got snow twice and even some in March. In March, I was very preggo and enjoyed making a Heather snowman complete with protruding belly. Sigh. I don't quite have the motivation this year. We are so bummed that Maelee isn't here to wear her very pink and oh-so-cute fluffy snow jacket and go gallivanting in this year's snow. Oh the pictures that would have been!

All that to say, nothing warms my heart like looking out on a winter wonderland. And because South Carolina is not prepared to plow roads or sand/dirt/salt roads (and to be honest, because South Carolinian's can't drive in any amount of snow), Greg is working from home today. I'm about to make some hot chocolate and prepare our meal for tonight (in the likely case our power goes out).

Yes, it's a peaceful SNOW day in the Kasowski household today!