Golden Girl.

Annalee turned four on October 4th. Her golden birthday. We have been planning her golden bash for almost a year, slowly gathering up good deals of golden. And her friend party was spectacular, full of excessive golden details I can't contain. Her family party was at Grandmas and delicious and laid back and fun and just enough golden to round out her week of celebrations. Plus both sets of her grandparents were there so that was specialness all in its own.

Some stories and tidbits to remember her in this stage...

• Annalee is a darling. Sweet and goofy and quiet and smart and really delightful. 
• The other day after picking up Eli from school, I was holding Evan and the Annalee and Eli were walking to the van. A lady rolled down her window to mention to us "That is the cutest kid I have ever seen. And I have three kids!" Annalee is consistently commented on when we are out. She's adorable and the hair just tops it all off. She seems to take it all in stride but of course I worry it's going to make her a bit full of herself!
• She's responsible. A few weeks ago I looked over and here she was, emptying the trash bin from their room that was overflowing into the larger trash in the kitchen. I didn't ask her to do it, she's never done this chore before. It was something she saw needed to be done and did it! WHAT!!?? She's often cleaning their room and tidying up a bit and oh that makes this mama heart soar!
• She spent lots of her friend birthday in the corner at the small table with Daddy, or in a room with just one of the friends. She will take a small group over a large one most any day. 
• She started preschool two mornings a week last month and has done fantastic. She walked right past all the screaming kids and started playing. She will have a hard time actually talking to anyone but she does just fine independently playing. And of course, she's been writing her name for a year and will have no problem learning letters and listening to the teachers. Her first day I got a full report on everything they did (including lining up multiple times), waaaay more than I ever heard from Eli! 
• Annalee is not one to say words to people she doesn't know. To have her say thank you to a clerk or neighbor, I usually have to settle for a wave. She is shy and hesitant. But if she knows you, then she's alright to talk, mostly. At her well check Monday, she would not talk to the doctor (who's kid goes to her preschool so she knows her somewhat). She points OFTEN instead of using words. And she still breaks out baby talk occasionally. 
• 1.79% for height. Yep. 
• This girl loves to sing and talk and teach and dream in front of the bathroom mirror, as she stands there on the stool looking at herself. She goes to the bathroom then washes her hands and that takes a good 20 minutes because of the aforementioned distractions. It's become a thing and I do enjoy hearing her. Plus I usually know where she is. Also LET IT GO. Oi.
• Coloring and crafts and projects are this girl's dream. She adores getting to do anything creative. I just gave her new markers and a piece of paper and she forgot all about whining to watch Daniel Tiger. 
• She has started to have an opinion on her clothes. She loves a good A-line or shirt that flips out at the end... giving just enough poof to be dress-like. And if it's too dark or not her jam (like a sweatshirt, hates those) she may just have a meltdown if I try to get her to wear it. 
• Annalee is a sister to two brothers and she's a great one. Different from Eli in personality but enough so that they get along more often than not. And she tolerates the little boy well, except when he chews her blankie. 

There's more but I better get this posted or it may not happen. LIFE. Just know I'm so amazingly grateful for the gift of a daughter on earth, raising her is a special joy and I'm thrilled. 

-Annalee's mom

Glad in the Yuck.

Eli had one sick day for kindergarten. And it was only a four-hour Wednesday night sickness. That's amazing! He finished school Friday! FIRST grade next fall!

And we had a weekend with the Lipperts and my parents in Fargo. We had family photos taken Sunday morning (on Grammy's birthday, a pretty great gift I think!). We arrived home Monday afternoon.

Tuesday morning Eli threw up and Annalee followed suit and all day today much misery from them, poor kiddos. But how awesome that it happened 1. after school is done 2. after our family weekend 3. in the morning instead of the middle of the night!!!

And so far just those two. Whew! Not the best way to start summer but it really is the "ideal" time to be sick.

I have hopes to create a summer bucket list for us. We had a fun kick off in Fargo... but our kids do not love travelling. Eli on drive whining "my brain isn't thinking what I want it to think" - what?!

Evan is clinging to mommy and daddy very much so. Separation anxiety more than the big siblings ever had. He is hard to understand and keeps us guessing but he's sure precious. Excited for his birthday coming up!

Glad he's healthy today!

Songs.

Not sure if I've recorded this or not but each of us has a song or two. Made up by us, we all have a tune, a jingle, a diddly to our name.

Greg's is stinkin' awesome. "DADDY!! Daddy is a rockstar!" followed by a hardcore little doo-da. Mine is much less so. "mommm. mommmm." in a low, monotone drowl followed by random rhyming. Really quite depressing. The kids made up our songs. Eli's is from his baby outfit that Greg sang to "Eli the elephant loves to play, and munch on peanuts everyday.... doo doo do do do do do doo do do do do do do do." Annalee has two "A N N A L E E spells An-na-lee!" and "Annalee, An-na-lee-hehe, you are such, such a cute cutie, Annalee An-na-lee-hehe, you are such a cute cutie. Taco Johns!" "Evan, Evan debevin, Evan, Evan debevin" (he needs a new one).

Yesterday I overheard Annalee singing "Daddy drums! Mommy cleans! Annalee plays! Eli plays! Evan plays!" and versions of those same word combos. I'd like to think that my kids recognize my lack of musical talent but choose something I am good at to sing about. ;)

-Mommmmmmmm

What To Recall.

As we move through our lives, there are things that will be forgotten. The things that make each day here seem normal for us will fall away as the little beings get older and wiser and bigger.

So here I go trying to record snippets. OH snippets. You are a good word! I shall use you more!

ANNALEE (3.5 years) snippets!

• Annalee was whining the other day at breakfast and said "brrrr, I'm hungry!" and we all had a good giggle. And now we say a version of that occasionally "brrr, I'm tired!" ;)
• I brought Annalee to the library last week. She loves picking out books and picked out great ones this week. I told her she could pick out one DVD. She came back with two: one for her and one Star Wars one for Eli. She is so considerate and a bit sneaky.
• Annalee often says to me when she sees my phone "I want to send something to ..." meaning she wants to send Daddy or Grammy or Grandma a text of just emojis (like 30) that she picks out. 
• Annalee still uses "her" when she should be using "she" - "Her said..." "Her wants..."
• "I'm still hungry." She says this lots. 
• We are in full swing Star Wars birthday party prep and every.single.time someone asks about Eli's birthday she pipes in "And I'm having a golden birthday party!!!!!!!" and thinks it's happening soon instead of in six months and I may be sort of regretting telling her the theme (4 on the 4th so clearly golden) and already having bought items for it (so much gold)!!
• So much her daddy in behavior. She took a calculator from the grandparents house without asking (I found it in her backpack) so I made her bring it back the next time we were over there and apologize. She would not say the words so we had to leave. Seriously stubborn. Most of the time she is SO SO SO easy and responsible and level-headed and fun and wicked smart. Until those times were she is stubborn and then it's cray-cray.
• She writes her name and Eli's and Evan's and has started to read out loud letters she sees.
• She colors at the same level as Eli. Not his thing. Totally her thing. Give her markers and a pad of paper and she's content for an hour. 
• Annalee's favorite: "I want to have Annalee and Daddy time!!!"
• She won't let Greg (and sometimes Eli or me) out of the house without "a hug and a kiss!" - and if she doesn't get it, she FLIPS out.
• It takes her a few hours to warm up in a new setting or at a friend's house. She's very quiet and won't talk unless I really prompt her or unless Eli is with. For play dates, often I'll find her right next to me. Content to just watch other kids and be comfortable with me right there. But once she crosses over, then she's happy and loves to play with new toys and somewhat other kids (but depends on the kid). 
• Annalee can be a bit bossy once she is comfortable (like with cousin Alexia) or with her dolls and it's cute. For now.
• I think her biggest fear in life is being left. If I tell her to go to the bathroom before we go, and I happen to open the garage door and she thinks I'm leaving, she will scream. I have started to reassure her "I will not leave you"
• She dresses herself, doesn't use a booster for meals, only needs helping wiping poop, can get her own water (sidenote: she had a flip out for a few weeks where she all of a sudden wouldn't get her own water after months of doing this... were talking FLIP OUTS... but I WON! After some serious stern parenting, she did it! Conquered her newfound fear and did it and whew!), can buckle the top of her car seat, help pick up (if her attitude is good, even better, often lately we've gotten "but it's too hard." or "it's so much work" which does not go over well with this mom and dad"), and entertain herself for HOURS if need be! 
• Annalee was trying to use goofy words as adjectives like Eli often does and called our neighbor that babysat "chunky Bruce!" :-)

EVAN (10 months) snippets!

• This last week he's been saying "ma ma ma ma" and I'm pretty sure it's for me. And maybe today a definite "da da" too.
• He's our climber. Loves to spend time each day half up on a stool or the first stair. He's unable to actually climb up because his legs are too short (thankfully, I'm not ready for that). Auntie Amy brought over the walker this weekend which he scoots around in pretty fast!
• I cut the hair right above his ears tonight, just a tad. He's got some crazy hair and a good bit of it. Bald spot from early months is starting to fill in (and sort of looks blonder). 
• He lights up at his siblings.
• Loves cheese, finger foods (bread/bun/toast) and really anything he can feed himself. He eats plain dry Cheerios every morning. Usually at least some baby food for lunch or supper with whatever I can get in a good size for him. He does like to eat. He's gotten a few non-food items in his grasp and I have to be careful with this one!
• He doesn't love the Jump Up anymore. Hit that limit I guess.
• He still nurses during the day and at least once at night. GROAN. I think he has an allergy. Has anyone ever heard of a baby that is congested only at night?? That's his deal. Nothing overly terrible but it makes him wake up and then it's hard to let him cry it out when he's all stuffed up and can't breathe. But during the day he is fine so it's not a virus/cold. I'm hopeful we will turn a corner soon because this mama is tired with a T. Or exhausted with an E. 
• Evan's front two teeth are big with a big 'ol gap! He's getting in the ones next to those now too. Not sure about friends for the front bottom two. 
• Our schedule is usually a 30ish minute morning nap and a 1-2 hour afternoon nap. Times TBD.
• Eh-van...I go into him in the morning with a crazy high pitched mom voice saying his name like that. 
• He's also called Goo by Eli or Baby Goo. Bubba or Bubs by me. 
• Evan loves me most and is the most struck with separation anxiety out of all the kids. DON'T EVER LEAVE ME is what he is saying internally if I leave for a long time and because his brow line is so pronounced, you can just see it!
• Size 4 diapers still... because I want to get through the boxes before we move to 5!

Whelp that's enough for now. Will get the BIG bro done later this week for his birthday!!!!

-HLK

Recording Tidbits.

Oh man, the other day Greg, kids and myself were distracted watching videos taken from Greg's phone that he smartly (sure that's a word) saved onto the computer. It was just lovely to watch the kids a year ago, just see how they've changed and how gosh darn cute or hilarious they were at that moment. Take videos, people. It's capturing a moment in time and versus photos, you don't forget the nuances that go with said story. I'd like more videos of early married Greg and Heather.

And that motivated me to write down more of the current life we lead... because day-to-day goes by and you forget. Plus I have my mom's mom gone from Alzheimer's and my dad diagnosed with Alzheimer's and genetically speaking I'm pre-disposed so I'M GOING TO BE INTENTIONAL and write down memories. Also this fuels me to celebrate more. Y'all, celebrations are important.

• Eli started calling Evan "goo goo" most mornings. No idea why or where that came from. But they are just thrilled to say "hi goo goo!" when they see him. 
• Annalee is into naming her babies and made up friends "Tina" or "Prina" or "Piza" or something that ends with "na" or "a" - she is often celebrating their birthdays. 
• Eli whines about an ailment or cries (perhaps a soccer player in the making here) quite impressively for attention. Maybe a bit of a hypochondriac. We may have fed into this. I notice it whenever I visit him for lunch or volunteer at school (or Grandma does), he's always quite struck with an issue right before leaving. Also right at bedtime. In his defense, I think he does get headaches and he does have bumps and bruises. But really, sometimes I just want to scream "you're fine!!!" (and sometimes I do, tough love, but he also loves a good snuggle so often that happens as well). 
• Annalee feeds Evan most every day. She loves to give him his baby food. She's a bit messier than me but she's darn good at it and it's quite helpful. She giggles, he's all about it. I took about ten videos of this last week. 
• Annalee often "reads" quietly to herself. 
• Eli is actually reading now and he's doing fabulous. I try not get over into his academics (he's five) but he's doing very well. His sight words this week are "use and but" and he has told me fifty times "b - u - t not the b-u-t-t like this" because up there on his favorites are butts and farts and poop and BOYS ARE GROSS.
• Snack time = the best time in our home
• Eli loves to add "B" to people's names and joke around. Beli and Bevan and Bannalee etc etc. He also just distorts words and rhymes made up words LOTS. Annalee has also started to do this but it's a bit wackier with her. 
• Eli HATES to see Annalee get disciplined. He always wants to intervene. Annalee has started to whine "I want the yellow bowl" or whatever in the morning. And when we started saying "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit" and she starts throwing a fit, we ignore. And Eli gives her the yellow bowl. So we have had to tell Eli he can't give her whatever she wants. It's ironic because often they are fighting over something but if it means she gets in trouble... he is quick to come to her defense (but not enough to throw himself under the bus either). 
• Every night Eli will pray first. Annalee often doesn't want to but I do ask her to "thank God for at least one thing about your day" and so she will often be thankful for whatever fun thing she got to do that day. Eli prays about his day often and family and random but always, always prays "please God no bloody noses, no bad dreams, no dark monsters"... the boy does have crazy bad nightmares at times. 
• Speaking of nighttime, future Heather - I hope you are looking and feeling fine being all rested. You better work out most mornings and shower and do your hair before 8am and be able to hold adult conversations. Because YOU ARE SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. And it must be fabulous. 
• Evan slept until 5:30am, ate then back down until almost 7:30am three nights ago and I woke up a new woman that morning, ya'll. I was organizing the basement at 9pm that night. It was a fluke, he was back up often the last two nights. He's hungry but also nursing for comfort but the screaming keeps us up even with the awesome noise machine... we will get there but until then, "raising tiny humans is exhausting" and "I'm a permanently exhausted pigeon";)
• Eli still wants to hold my hand. I had lunch with him at school today. He held my hand proudly in the line. LOVE THAT KID.
• Annalee won't let us leave her without "a hug and a kiss!" every single day. If Daddy goes without in the mornings, she will scream. 
• I pick up dirty pajamas and blankies and socks waaay more than I figure I should. Somehow Annalee catches on to put hers in the hamper much of the time but Eli, every day I must say something. 
• Evan is pulling up on his crib... so we'll have the lower it. He's up from his nap, sitting so nicely in his crib but I bet if I don't go in there in the next few minutes, he'll pull himself up! 

HLK

Going Home Final.

On the doorknob to Evan's closet is the brown going home outfit. The one Maelee was supposed to wear but didn't get to. My mom embroidered her name on it and we all hated it was empty. When Eli came to be, we rejoiced in getting to put his name on it and bring him home from the hospital in it.

Eli in the outfit. April 29 2011.

And then again when we carried Annalee into Grandma and Grandpa's home (our temp home at that time). And it was sweet having Maelee's name in pink, Eli's in blue, Annalee's in yellow. And even though I thought we were done, we got another babe to add to it all. Evan wore it in June home from the hospital. A tribute to her all tied up with a wee bit of snarkiness "damn it, I will be worn."

So it's been hanging there and I keep thinking I ought to get a few photos of it worn while we still have a baby to fit into it! And our little five-and-a-half-month sweetie is a big 'en already so it had to be done (ideally months ago). But we squished him in it yesterday as a last tribute to this special going-home outfit that perhaps my grandkids will wear someday!!?

Dear me, he is something.

And the sister on earth found this white dress given to us and she has fallen in love with it, wearing it and prancing and dancing and singing and... praying in it! No idea why, but she has broken out in thankful prayers the few times she wore it. By chance I snuck a photo of her at the right moment and it's preciousness all in its own right.

These redemptive moments are treasured deep in my mama heart.

-hlk

What?

On the drive after school today:
Me: "How was school today? Anything different happen?"
Eli: "We had a hearing test."
Me: "Oh, how did that go?"
Eli: "What?"

Last week, Eli was thrilled to see his name in hELIcopter! He's doing great finding his "sight words" from school and it is SO enjoyable seeing him beginning to read.

He also asked me the other day for some "graham crappers" - and I didn't correct him!!

Annalee is interpreting bigger words and skewing them. The other day I was brushing her hair and she said "get the rectangles out!" She's awesome. She's also doing super at potty training. I knew it'd be easier if we waited until she was ready. Looking forward to only one little babe in diapers.

HLK

Week In Quotes.

Some quotes heard this past week:

Eli: "Who is Carson Wentz?"

Eli's classmate to him on tie day Monday:  "you look like a husband!"

Annalee: "don't pee on the rainbow" as she hands me her rainbow drawings while I'm in the bathroom 

Annalee: "where I go?" as her lack of scheduling consistency leaves her guessing our destinations on any certain day. 

Evan: "waaaaaaaaaaaaa" (he is waking up like a newborn these days, every 2 to 3 hours at night, and screaming, so much screaming, minimal naps, just not a great stage for us)

Me, overwhelmed from wiping all three kid's butts in the span of two minutes, to Eli, but more for Greg who was in earshot: "you need to learn how to wipe your own a-s-s."

Eli, happily: "I know how to spell butt! A-S-S!"

Me, trying not to laugh at him or my obvious parent fail: "No, no butt is b-u-t-t" and hoping he doesn't relay that spelling in school.

Eli: "Look! There's "to" in the STOP sign!" As he keeps absorbing all his sight words at school. 

Lady at church: "he has got great thunder thighs!" (pointing to Evan)

Annalee: "my brain is going to pray" (meaning she's praying silently). 

Annalee: "it's okay buddy" over and over because her brother is screaming unhappily (he usually fusses a few minutes before taking a nap... And by fusses, I mean he freaks out and screams and scares the rest of us!). But when he sleeps! Oh he's preciousness. 

"BE QUIET, your brother is sleeping!!!" "Don't wake up Evan, he's sleeping!" "Let Evan sleep!" "Stop whining, you'll wake up your brother!" - Me, multiple times a day, because you never ever ever wake a sleeping baby, kids. 

-mama hlk

4:30 - 5:30pm.

We have so many kids.

I may say that to Greg occasionally. Three kiddos around sure makes life full. It's fabulously full and messy and overwhelming and tiring and fun and completely crazy. My grandmother was one of eighteen kids and I just can't fathom. 

Currently I think Evan is sleeping in his crib. Nevermind, I figured out he was awake so now he is happy on the living room floor. And I'm raising my voice to the other two because they are up in the bathroom with water and tea cups and laughing and even though I told them "no water" - it doesn't seem to be working. 

Ok, that crisis evaded. Minimal water. Even felt sort of a mom-win for letting them get that far without getting crazy mad. 

Now Eli is whining for food. 

And now they are taking my notepad and writing A's because Annalee figured out how to draw A's and Eli took her pen so he could teach her to do it his way. "Mom, I need a piece of paper." We go through SO MUCH PAPER. Glad it's cheap and recyclable.

The littlest is beginning to fuss. 16lbs, 14ozs yesterday and 24 inches. That's why I wanted to write a blog post, to get that stat down. Heavy boy, so cute, and after over a week of up lots in the night, he's back to just one time eating. Praise be, this momma is a fan of sleep. 

Medicine is doing great at Greg's rash and mine is lessening with creams (praise be) and Annalee still has hers but doesn't care. She is THREE and fabulous. An older, very classy lady at the library called her "a cover girl" and said "real red heads are hard to find" and it "made my day" just to SEE Annalee peeking at her behind my legs. So how amazing that our girl can make someones day just by being cute?! And so very shy. 

"Mommy, I need paper. Mommy, I need three because I am three."

So much paper.

Fussing into crying. Must pick up Evan and potatoes are done. It's about that time. 

And the BEST part - I hear the garage door. Daddy is home!! 

-me

Purple Party!

Annalee wanted to have "Alexia and Lilli" for her birthday party. And this mom listened, keeping it just family for her party (and one family over tomorrow as well). She loved her purple party yesterday! My introvert likes small groups of people she knows well. And she loves purple! Purple party fun!

She picked the menu - purple pancakes and regular eggs and bacon, purple (blueberry) yogurt, fruit (blueberries and black grapes) and purple drinks. And the yummiest purple cupcakes. We had a scavenger hunt and find the purple game and purple only coloring. Lots of things our girl loves!

Excited to celebrate her tomorrow as she turns three!!

-hlk

PPP.

Eli's first field trip happened yesterday. Papa's Pumpkin Patch was windy but beautiful! And one little sister got to tag along with me to help! She was thrilled!

I'm so glad for this sweetie. 

-Her mom

Five of Us.

Sometime this summer, after I made sugar cookies because I was craving them, Greg had told me he liked them because they aren't overly sweet. So when his birthday came I thought "I'll make him cookies!". It took me six days but I did, finally, make them! 36 and 6 days is also to be celebrated, right? In my defense, his mom always makes him an apple pie (sweet, eh?) so he got a nice dessert on his actual birthday. In any case, Greg had a birthday and now he is closer to 40 than 30.

I've been back to work some. I put in my notice that I'm done in October. My position is wildly different than it was before, with my sweet elder program being cut most likely, and I just don't have the heart for it. That along with not having our amazing daycare situation means it's not worth it to work. Greg's cousin's wife and the grandparents have been watching the kids for the few days I've been in, praise be. I've yet to make it a full week and any moms that leave an almost three-month baby and other kids and get everyone out of the house and pump and not explode and keep a house running... uffda. I'm looking forward to a relaxed schedule. I'm not looking forward to having to pay for health insurance. I'm looking forward to just nursing Evan and not having to pump (but hallelujah hands that he will take a bottle!). I'll miss my coworkers and the really great work I was doing and I'll for sure miss job sharing. Me quitting may possibly mean a downsizing move for us, too. We'll see. In any case, this chapter of working part-time and staying home part-time is soon over (minus me possibly doing some PRN). It was downright amazing the past two-and-a-half years though!

Eli still tolerates school. He doesn't love it but he doesn't hate it. He is brave. He tried hot lunch one day! He remembers a few other kids' names. His favorite class is recess and "go noodle" dancing fun. He made his first "book" with drawings and it's just so darn sweet. He is tired at the end of the day and seems a bit more ornry but not as much behavior change as I was expecting. He still LOVES snacks and is always on the hunt for them. He loves quality time and focused attention. He still loves legos and playing. And he loves to make people laugh. He's a great, affectionate, older brother.

Annalee is doing fine adjusting to Eli at school and being a big sister. Well, I think she is. She internally processes life so it's hard to know exactly what she's thinking. She's still our introvert but a crazy side of her is just under the surface. So.Much.Her.Dad! She still loves purple in any form (her purple third birthday party will be soon!) and likes to color. She loves books. She can play so darn well by herself. She has been baby-talking A LOT since Evan has been born. It drives me nuts and I must say "Talk like a big girl" a handful of times each day. Potty training is going to happen when she decides. I know enough about our dynamic not to try until that girl has it in her head. Hopefully soon, October is my ideal. She is definitely in a bit of a growth spurt. She's still tiny but oh, so mighty! I am looking forward to art classes and maybe even gymnastics with her this winter, since she's still too young for preschool.

Evan is AWESOME. His head is still misshaped so we are really trying to get him to put hard pressure on that left-side bump to reverse the damage done. He resists the left so much but we are hopeful. We tried Grandma's chiropractor this week and will keep doing that, loosening those ubber tight muscles. One day he will spit up a ton, the next not much. One night he will sleep super, the other he'll be up more often. He smiles and coos but also screams and looks crazy confused. He's wonderful but loads of work.

That's my family update.

-hlk

Happy Place Visit.

We have been blessed with four kids. 

Precious.

Evan's first time at Maelee's grave. 

Love the Grands!

-HLK

Flax.

My parents, myself and all the kids went on a quick overnight trip to Crosby. Annalee loved the fields of flax because they are purple, her absolute favorite! So we stopped by one field just to take a few photos with my phone. 

Adorable!

Our internet has been down all week so minimal posting until they get it fixed. 

Meeting Siblings.

Both sets of grandparents brought Eli and Annalee to the hospital to meet Evan on Tuesday night. We had the kids come in the room first to meet baby and tell him his name. Then we let Eli open the door and say "the baby's name is Evan Lloyd Kasowski" to the grands.

Eli was very excited! Annalee wasn't. In her defense, not an hour or so later, she was battling a fever. She didn't really say a word the whole time there and did not want to sit next to me. She looked adorable in her new purple big sister shirt. However I was crazy tired and excited to see them and just didn't take photos before they needed to go. They got to all go out to eat together and minus Annalee being sick, that was sure special for them.

Annalee's fever broke yesterday but we still had her stay home last night when Grandma brought Eli to hold Evan. It was super sweet how happy Eli was to get to hold Evan. He held him for a few minutes, then was just happy to be around us.

Eli holding Evan for the first time. 

Today we came home, exhausted and elated to use this going home outfit, again, with a live baby! The kids were very excited, and a bit stir crazy, both wanting to hold him. So here's a few photos after being home for a few minutes this afternoon:

Love these kiddos.

I didn't get any super photos of Evan in the going home outfit - but a few... so special to have our firstborn so prominently displayed in each of our kid's going-home story. Thanks to Grammy for embroidering it!

This is him this afternoon right before heading home - thanks to my dear friend Cindy for the awesome blanket!

all four kiddos proudly remembered

-HLK

Personality?

I wonder frequently what the personality of this new baby will be? We have two fairly "easy" kids right now. They are still kids, of course, but they are fairly good listeners and sleepers and eaters and poopers and seem to be cautious. On a very basic level, that makes them "easier" in comparison to the super adventurous kids that climb on tables and run at full speed the second you set them down and would have no qualms about jumping off the top of the playground set (ie, Greg's brother Chris).

So naturally, there is that inner still mom voice that worries we have a "Chris" on his way to shake up our world in ways we didn't know possible.

Gulp.

Lord help us! We will love him regardless but for the record, I just want to say having Eli and Annalee become so close and most (not all) of the time, playing and entertaining each other so wonderfully... has been such a gift for me. Do I still lose it and fail and get crazy tired of discipline and all that? Yes. But it could be worse!

They have their issues. Eli wants to be entertained and he likes to push buttons (saying poopy whatever and walking the line on listening or whining for snack ten minutes after eating). Here's a quote I wrote down that made me laugh and I want to make sure it's recorded. I was cautioning Eli about something he was doing in the dirt next to our house (I believe he kept getting it in his face from the wind):

Me: "I don't think that's a good idea."

Eli, briefly pausing to consider, then with his classic shrug: "Well, I'm still doing it."

He was so matter-of-fact about it. At least he's honest.

Sidenote: are their cautious personalities nature or nurture? I say "be careful" way too often to be considered a go-with-the-flow mom, I'm sure of it, so I have to wonder if I've messed up their inner adventurousness. Getting Eli to actually be brave enough to go down the waterslide, or get a shot, or take a shower... it's exhausting. Once he does, he's all in but getting him to take the plunge... oh my!

There will be loads of change coming up for our five-year-old and our two-and-a-half-year-old. They have had lots already. The new daycare transition went very well (she was so impressed with how easy they were, especially Annalee) so that's a relief. But with a new baby and Eli starting kindergarten next fall, it's going to be interesting seeing how they change.

As for Annalee, I'm certain she is a mini of her father in most every way. She is introverted. Yet silly when around those select few. She's crazy stubborn. I knew it before but that trait has come out so obviously these last few weeks. Oh dear. She breaks out that lower lip and just looks at me. Last night we went to bring cupcakes to the new neighbors we met. They weren't home. She held on to those cupcakes and did not want to leave their front door. I told her we couldn't wait for them to get home (I think they actually went to Wisconsin) and she would not budge. It involved a whole lot of her screaming. And a long walk back to our house. She gets it into her mind...and... it's hard to sway her. This could get interesting! I will make sure Daddy is all over that. Since every time I say "I love you, Annalee!" she responds "I love my Daddy!" I'm fairly certain I can play that card when having to deal with her being a stinker.

They slept in their bunk beds last night for the first time, these big siblings, and it went well. I'm sure we will have some rough nights but for now, YIPPEE! We can (attempt) to get a baby room ready!

And speaking of... my platelets not only stabilized, they went up! So a 37/38 week induction seems much more plausible now. TBD!

-Heather

May or June?

I have started a host of blog posts in the last weeks. So much going on! My camera is full of photos to upload, memories to share. My phone is overloaded with pics, too. For now, I'll just type up some updates for those that need knowing.

1. We start a new daycare Monday. Our great, fabulous lady decided to close permanently because her injury is so serious and future unknown. We will sure miss her! Grateful for the time with her and the fit she was for us. Thankfully we found this one to start tomorrow a few days a week. The goal is so that I can keep working for now plus after the baby is born, have time to bond while the two older siblings get fun, kid time (the new daycare has kiddos just a bit older than E & A). Grateful for how well our kids have transitioned these last months to the numerous caregivers they have had. Such grace.

2. Greg built bunk beds for the kids. Woot! Not perfect (um, that gray stain sure looks blue) but they are airing out in Annalee's room as we speak. We smooshed them both in Eli's room tonight. I'm not certain they are asleep yet. Room sharing! Yikes! I spent many hours trying to find the right bedding (still not certain) but hopeful to find a basic gray quilt for each (currently planning on a Target one) with fun sheets for each of them. If anyone knows of a super cute purple-only pattern of sheet for Annalee, do tell.

3. This baby boy. Right now I am uncertain if he will really be our June baby or if he will be a May baby. My platelets have been dropping again. I started my twice weekly ultrasound and non-stress tests and he has been passing all those. I had blood drawn twice this week to see how my platelets are behaving. We need them to stay high enough. If not, they will induce even preterm. If they are going the rate they are going... we could be having a NICU baby. They may give steroids to get them up (and help baby's lungs) but we will see. I have battled a headache the last few days (today quite badly) which sort of compounded the concern for me. Honestly, friends, this has been eerily similar to the few days I spent in the hospital with Maelee and the preeclampsia scare at 34 weeks with her. Thankfully my head is getting better and my blood pressures are fine and my little stud is moving around often. I find myself missing my Eli doctor SO SO much and that great continuum of care. Today I just wanted to get my lab results from yesterday (just to make sure with my headache we were okay) and after figuring out I had no phone number to call, had to settle just talking to labor and delivery (who wouldn't give me results). There's only one OB/GYN clinic that is connected to my hospital. And no on-call physician to speak to on the weekends. Meh. I didn't feel it worth it to go in. I have felt really at peace this whole pregnancy but today, not being able to get reassurance, I felt a little overwhelmed at all this.

So pray for us in the next weeks as we figure out what is going on and what to do! I'm only 33 weeks so I'd really like to make it to 36 for baby. I actually had hopes to even go past 38 weeks, hoping to even go into labor on my own this time... But clearly I have lost a child before because what trumps all my wishes and ideals about how this pregnancy ends is the main: let's just keep baby and me alive.

4. Oh and he STILL doesn't have a name! And his room doesn't really exist yet. We need to clean up the car seat and find the hospital outfits. Gratefully we were given lots of newborn boy clothes from my sister's dear friend, so he has clothes now! And we have an insane stockpile of diapers! What else do we even need!

-Heather

March 2016 Life.

Our life seems full right now and it's crazy to think we are adding another little human to the mix in less than three months. Six years ago I had NO idea how this road of childbearing would look, clearly. I feel bad that this little boy is not on the forefront of my mind like the other kiddos were... thankfully he moves so often that he is constantly reminding me "mom! I'm in here! I exist! thanks for all the goodies!" You're welcome, son. I am constantly hungry and often eating, I'm quite large and feel ready to pop even though I do have months left to go! Oh well, last time I can play the pregnancy card so I guess I'll live it up for this babe!

It has been a stressful few weeks for us. First, we had a daycare scare when our beloved provider, while on her exotic vacation, thought she tore her rotator cuff again and was going to need to close for many months. Four days later it popped back into place and minus a badly sprained ankle she also battled, she was ready to open a week later. Praise be! Of course this happened just days before a super-important, crazy-busy conference at work that I was in charge of planning... so my stress level was fairly high scrambling to find care and wondering about the future. Gratefully she was better the day before the conference and my co-worker and I did a fabulous job so the conference was a hit.

Then ten days after the conference, I got an "you have to come in for an emergency meeting at work" call. My boss and one co-worker were let go due to budget cuts and our whole Education Department was changing structure, our future completely unknown. It was all part of other cuts around the hospital that were done based on budget but the ramifications of the decisions weren't thought through well. It's been a complete whirlwind since. Our department was such a beautiful place to work! So many positive people, doing such great things. Now no one is quite sure what is happening. It has been so very terrible. For now, my sweet senior education program exists until June but unsure about after that, we are in limbo. Thankfully I do still have a job (since we get our family insurance through my work, leaving that before baby is born would be a big stressor) but I don't know how long I'll be there if things change considerably. I have loved my job share situation... truly it has been the best of both worlds! Such a great fit for us these two years. We shall see. I did great self-care dealing with the stress last weekend and continue to encourage my co-workers in any way I can. Having my background of losing my ideal job back in SC, plus Maelee and God's grace in my own life, gives me great empathy for tough situations like this. And since I'm not really afraid of getting fired, I have confidence to stand up for my coworkers and our programs and the good, meaningful work we did. So yep, it's been bizarre.

Then this past Tuesday we had sickness hit. It involved puke in both our vehicles, an 8pm visit to the walk-in clinic, and a resulting FIRST ever ear infection diagnosis for Mr. Eli. By Wednesday they were much improved and minus some interesting diaper changes for Annalee, they are back to normal. I will not complain because so many parents deal with constant ear infections and this is my first battle with it (oh it was rough to see him writhing out in pain, unable to form a sentence). Glad we are through that and can (hopefully) enjoy Easter sans sickness.

I thought about trying to potty train Annalee during this week off from work. That's looking very, very unlikely at this point. Oh well, two kids in diapers is still two kids! :)

Eli and Annalee this afternoon 3.24.16

Some things about these two darlings to record:

• Annalee sings often. She loves songs. Last week she sang "Happy Birthday" for over two minutes to herself before bed. Today she sang itsy bitsy "washed the 'bider out" for at least five minutes. I am a terrible mom in this regard, I rarely sing or listen to music and I'm certain she would absorb it all like a sponge if I did. 
• Eli is so affectionate. He gives me kisses on the belly or arm, even if it's just sitting at the dinner table. He can also not listen to me to the point I'm at my witt's end... then be giving me kisses ten minutes later.
• Eli hates, hates, hates to see Annalee get in trouble. If he can intervene, he will. I love how he sticks up for her. And spoils her. (ie, I told her I wasn't going to put her back up in her chair for the third time, she needed to stay there and not get down... she got down then wanted up (again) and I said "no", she flips out, so Eli goes over there and helps her in her chair behind my back). 
• Eli is competitive. If you want him to get him to do something, add some sort of competitiveness to it and it'll actually get done. Who will win to make it to the bathroom to brush teeth?! Eli. Annalee doesn't care as much about winning. 
• Greg is king at bedtime with these two. He has a song to get them to run to the bathroom to brush teeth. And he will read them stories loads better than I. Annalee is hit and miss with stories - sometimes she wants to listen and other times she'll make it a page or two before she wants to go read her own story. Eli would still listen for hours on end to stories. 
• Annalee loves the color purple right now. She picks it out and knows it and loves many shades of it. She has two tiny My Little Ponies and the purple one is by far the winner of her affections over the pink one. Her beloved Care Bear is pink but I'm pretty sure if we had a purple one, she'd love it more! Her other favorite toys are Eli's Leapfrog laptop, Eli's doctor kit, light sabers, play picnic food, and her stuffed animals.
• Eli's favorite toys now are the light sabers, legos (he adores lego time), random stuffed animals, and Star Wars anything.
• Eli has a great imagination. At lunch he told Annalee and I all about his dream (Riley (from daycare) and Deker (from preschool) and Eli were on a walk and they found a house with upside down windows and doors and everything and...) twenty minutes later. Sometimes I'm not sure if he really dreams this all or if he just makes up his stories. Regardless, the kid will be a story teller. 
• I tell Eli to stop saying poop or pee or some rendition of that at least ten times a day.
• This brother and sister do play very well together. They fight, of course, but overall they love each other and love to entertain one another. They are sad when the other is away for too long. It's quite cute to see them enjoy each other so fully.  

Random tidbits to record of our lives right now!

-Heather

Three Months Later.

Because Shutterfly was having a sale and I was motivated to get caught up on photo books... meaning I made our "Christmas in Minnesota" one... and here are a few fun group photos I finally got around to looking through:

We tend to do silly much, much better!

Love you, fam!

-Heather

AZ gems.

These two living, breathing kids are such a joy. It may be crazy having kids, multiple kids definitely, but they make life full without even trying. Arizona was lovely: the weather, time with my parents, family outings, resting, and eating. A week full of gifts. Here's a few cell phone pics:

HLK