Our sweet little boy is a few months shy of his third birthday. And three is the magical year when little boys should be potty trained or at least trying to get there. And this mama is full with other things in life right now that makes me not want to spend time reading about potty training. I know there are lots of methods and theories and steps and practices and opinions on the matter and I just can't add another thing to "Heather's list of things she's overwhelmed by" right now. So I come to you, dear reader, and ask for your help. If you have potty trained a boy successfully, I am all ears. Tell me what method, etc worked for you, how you went about it and any other info you'd like to pass on. This way it'll be like me doing the research and reading but with less of my time weeding out the bad info.
To let you know, Eli is not interested in potty training. The kid will sit in his poop for hours... we rarely let him but he is just not bothered by crap (literally) in his diaper. He has some idea of what's going on in there, he will sometimes tell us he has pooped but other times the only thing that alerts us is the stench. He sometimes feigns interest in the potty chair. He sometimes thinks undies are awesome (we got Thomas the Train, Lightening McQueen, and other such awesome dude undies to entice him) but not enough to want to wear them over diapers. It's still just not on his radar. With allllll the transition and change in his life the last seven months, I have used that as our excuse not to get down to business (ha) with potty training. But now that some settling is on the horizon, I feel we need to get this rolling for our boy. Plus he is signed up for preschool next fall two mornings a week and though it's not stated anywhere, I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be potty trained!
You most likely know how to contact me so bring on your input!
-"Would Be Nice To Just Have One Kid In Diapers" Mom
6 comments:
Hi Heather! One book that my kids loved was I Have To Go by Robert Munsch. There is another one but I CANNOT remember the name of it!!! I have browsed books online hoping the title would jump out at me but it didn't. After supper I may see if it is one of the ones that I saved. The kids loved it, as well as the one I mentioned above. Your sweeties are precious!! And fear not, your little fella won't go to college in diapers lol!! And yes having one free of diapers is a huge relief!!
we tried several times to potty train griffin before 3, but he just wasn't ready until he turned 3! when we officially potty trained, we implemented a lot of positive reinforcement methods, weeding out the ones that didn't seem to help and emphasizing the ones that did. we made a daily sticker chart that he put stickers on for each potty success, candy (a minor candy for attempts, better candy for successes, awesome favorite candy for poop success
). we also did phone call reinforcement where he could choose a family member to call to share his potty success. but his favorite and most motivating reinforcement was activities that we would say we would do with him if he had potty success...games, books to read, games to play, apps he could play on my phone, etc. we kept diapers for naps and bedtime and underpants for waking hours. for the first 5 days or so, we had a timer that i started with 15 minute increments and increased as he showed his ability to hold it. when the timer went off, it was potty time! we made it brief and happy, with books and encouragement for each attempt. messes were not made a big deal out of, but honestly, there weren't many because he was ready! i think you'll know in the first week if he is ready to potty train or not. i think the very best advice i received and would give is to wait until he is truly ready. don't feel pressured to make it happen because that will lead to a lot more frustration and angst than is necessary. it can be a nightmare, but i don't think it needs to be if you wait until he is ready. griffin was completely potty trained within two weeks and going on his own in three. and i really didn't have much to do with that success! i was absolutely shocked with how well it went, especially because he is a very very willful and stubborn boy! and because of how it went the other times we tried earlier. he just turned four and still struggles with wetting the bed during naps sometimes and a lot of times during the night, so we still use pull-ups. i'm sure we could tackle this, but i just haven't come up with a game plan quite yet because he is the kind of kid that needs water by the bed and seems to always be thirsty. anyway, give me a call if you want more details or anything. like i said, it's sort of a "find what works for your kid" sort of thing. oh, another suggestion would be to keep or bring a potty seat in the car for outings so you can have him try to go before you enter a store or whatever. and also, it's a LOT easier to deal with doing potty on the seat he is comfortable with at first instead of the potential land mine of public bathrooms. word of caution: griffin got really freaked out by the automatic flusher during one particularly dramatic trip to the walmart bathroom in which i ended up falling on the floor with my pregnant belly wrapped around the filthy bottom of the toilet and pee in places it definitely should not have been. hahah. also, we had a potty in our kitchen, right near the living area that he could choose to use if he wanted. this made it easier and more natural for him to initiate going potty on his own. since his little potty was in the kitchen, he had to use the big potty with the adaptor seat in the actual bathroom. i liked this system because he got used to using both right away. and then, when we got in the car to run errands, i would grab his little potty (we loved our baby bjorn one) for the car. eventually, eli will get used to peeing standing up and just LOVE going outside on a tree or whatever, if need be. boys are easier for that :) put one or two changes of pants and undies in the car.
also, i noticed that friends who "pushed" potty training earlier struggled a LOT more with it, it took a lot longer, and their kids ALL had major regressions 3-6 months later. so just another encouragement to take advantage or when he is ready and let it be if he is not. :) a month or two can make a HUGE difference. p.s. griffin showed interest in going potty on the potty at 18 months and at 2 years but attempts at potty training at those times were not pretty, but he wasn't interested in the least when he was actually really ready at 3! so i don't necessarily think eli's disinterest means anything besides him not really caring about having a dirty diaper :)
I would say if he is not showing interest, WAIT!!!!! Start making it more of a deal when you or Greg go to the bathroom---just to get it on his radar. heck, set Annalee on the potty chair--anything to make him more aware that it is something everyone else is doing and he should want to do it as well--without putting the focus on him actually going. Even though I have girls, this has been a proven method for me: wait until they truly grasp the concept of it and maybe have had a couple of successes and then carve out a weekend ( as in not leaving the house), put them in underwear and set a timer for every 20 min. Every 20 min they have to sit -- I always had a special little box/container of fun things that they got to explore ONLY when they were sitting on the pot, and just do that for the whole weekend. Both times, my girls were trained by Monday.
Wait! Wait! Wait! For the love of a sane mama and happy child, WAIT!!! When he is ready, it will go smooth and you will hardly have to work at it. You are not in the "failure mom club" if you have a three year old who isn't trained. (And if you are, please take your seat next to me so we can chat) All this advice comes from a mom who tried every trick and gimick and bribe and such and about lost her mind. Trust me, waiting was better for us anyway. (And for the record, the whole let me go naked thing wasn't so great here. I don't like naked butts on my furniture or cleaning up pee that was sprayed from a tiny firehose. spending money on diapers was worth it. WAIT!) The best potty training advice I ever got was "No kid ever entered kindergarten in diapers. It will happen." (She raised 4 boys, she is smart)
yep…. when the time's right….
And the 20 minute weekend plan was good for us too but it took about 3-4 days to stick for us both times… and then J leaked for a solid few months before he was totally dry most the time… Anyway, I would just add to the "20 minute- weekend plan": reward dry undies with a salty treat (a chip maybe) and that makes him want to drink more… more opportunities to practice. reward going with a sweet treat- whatever is his favorite. All rewards, no punishments… you'd think it would make for a very happy weekend, but it's always been a pretty darn stressful one for us. What really can be done in life only ten minutes at a time, then ten minutes in the bathroom!? What a big step though…. I remember feeling like each one of our kids, especially our first potty trainer, was SO Big when they wore undies… it's an exciting milestone (for the family and the budget!)
much much love, and cheers for all of you!!!
jill
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