Love You Forever.

“I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
as long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.” 

You know that book? The super famous book with the kid next to the toilet on the cover? Well, turns out the author made up this little song before writing the actual book. And the song was his song he made up for his two stillborn babies. From his web site:  "I made that up after my wife and I had two babies born dead. The song was my song to my dead babies."

Whoa. As morbid as the phrase "dead babies" is, it is refreshing to read that for me, someone that has held her dead baby. It's oddly sweet that this much-loved, tear-inducing book was based on a song for babies the author never got to see grow up. And now, of course now these words takes on a whole new meaning to me. 

My friend, Heather, was the one who told me about that. She lost her twin girls full-term four years ago Saturday and was an integral part in helping me through losing Maelee. She was a few months ahead of me on the grieving journey and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it without her insight and love! To my friend, let's remember it's all meaningful. Actually this is a great music video with speaking insert for anyone that is going through tough circumstances, I've seen it a few times in the last months and found it refreshing.

Not everyone gets someone ahead of them on the grief road to help them through. No matter if you've experienced loss, you can still love grieving people. Here's a great blog post from a mom that lost her four-month old in a tragic accident ten years ago this year. She reflects as they mark the decade since their loss by writing "10 things I would say to someone who wants to reach out to grieving parents." Fellow North Dakotans and friends of family, I find her insights spot on. I lament with you, dear Ericksons!

Thanks to all who have jumped on my merry-go-round as we continue to grieve Maelee into our fourth year. Just tonight, I glanced over to see my little boy pitter patter in excitement across the floor in only his diaper, his chubby white legs went right to my heart and in an instant I'm mourning never getting to see Maelee as a toddler running to brush her teeth with Daddy. Those moments aren't all the time, of course, but they still come, the could-have-beens still show up and sometimes I'll just curl up with them and dream. I'm so grateful I know God redeems these dreams and this is not the end.

-Heather