Dear Plain Brown (not to be confused with the plain brown wrapper for you GF folks),
I do enjoy you, plain brown. But maybe, just maybe, it's time for a change? Maybe folks that aren't into plain brown are depressed when they see you. Maybe you just aren't creative enough for these hip people. Maybe you aren't fancy enough for all the techies out there. Maybe you bore people.
But just so you know, I secretly love you and your deep plainness. I may even go back to you soon.
Love,
Heather
UPDATE: I went back. And it feels good and comfortable like an old pair of slippers.
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