Un-Answers.

We learned awhile back about possible causes for Maelee's death. I didn't want to post about it but for some reason I think I should. Feel free to skip this medical mumbo-jumbo. Here goes.

While I was delivering Maelee, I got an infection and ended up with a fever of 104 that finally broke a few hours after delivery. Maelee's autopsy (incredibly hard to read) states she died of an infection. However, our doctor said that is not the case and she thinks the coroner just found the infection that I got during delivery. Since Maelee was already gone two days before I got that infection and because I wasn't sick at all during pregnancy, that makes sense. But it does suck that our autopsy didn't come back with a nice, clean-cut answer.

Our doctor believes that a blood clot was the cause. They did a lot of blood work on me and found out that I have Factor V Leiden blood clotting disorder. This means that my blood can clot easier than normal. Unexplained pregnancy loss is linked with Factor V. My sister found out days before I did that she has the same thing, one copy of this genetic disorder. Besides pregnancy those that have it need to be more careful during plane rides, long periods of inactivity, etc. The test for Factor V has only been around for six years. It costs a lot otherwise they would probably test all pregnant people (frustrating, I know).

They put you on blood thinners to counteract the disorder during pregnancy. My sister, who is pregnant and due October 12th, has to give herself a shot everyday and that's what I'll have to do if I ever get pregnant. Right now, I'm taking a baby aspirin since I have a higher chance of clotting for six+ weeks after pregnancy (which freaks Greg out and causes him to make sure I'm breathing in the middle of the night).

At 34 weeks when I was in the hospital for three days with possible preeclampsia, they found out I had thrombocytopenia (low platelets). I thought there may be a connection with this blood stuff but it is completely unrelated to the Factor V. Platelets prevent your blood from clotting... and Factor V disorder means your blood is prone to clot. Go figure. To prevent me from developing preeclampsia they put be on bed rest. In retrospect, that could have been the worst thing because the inactivity could have caused the blood clot. But we don't dwell on that. We did everything we were told with Maelee's best interest...

BUT, even with this knowledge, Maelee's autopsy does not say there was a blood clot, everything checked out normal in her cardiovascular system. And all other tests on Maelee and I came out normal. Confusing, eh?

It sucks anyway you look at it. Even if we knew every answer, every why and how, it still wouldn't bring Maelee back. Thankfully our peace isn't found in any answers... it's found in knowing that one day, one glorious day thanks to Jesus, we will see Maelee again.

I am very determined, however, that for future pregnancies we will be incredibly proactive and will hopefully find a doctor with a good knowledge of blood clotting disorders. If anyone knows of a good ob/gyn in Columbia/Lexington, pass on the info. My sister has a wonderful doctor in MN that specializes in blood disorders and who has been very proactive with my sister's crazy difficult pregnancy and even helpful to me. Her doctor was the one that told her I needed to be on baby aspirin because of the increased risk of clotting after pregnancy. Too bad I can't fly up to MN for appointments.

We know that even if we get to bring home a healthy baby someday (oh Lord let it be so!!!) that Maelee will still always be a part of our family. Father Tony said the day of Maelee's funeral that Maelee will never be replaced. This was very wise - we can't think any future children would be a replacement for her. She isn't replaceable. She's still a part of us. A part that we miss dearly.

-Heather