We are both depending on the Lord to sustain us, to get us through these days of unfulfilled dreams, expectations and hopes...and just sincere, depressing feelings of missing our daughter's existence on earth.
Thank you for praying us through these very, very hard days and for your continued comments and encouragement. We miss her not knowing her grandparents and aunts and uncles and family and you. When you think about Maelee and miss her too... well, that brings us comfort. It does good healing to my heart when I read things like the email below from our basically-related extended K-family dear friend:
We will be eating Maelee cupcakes. And they will be lemon. I was telling the boys about why we would be making cupcakes next week, and I was getting a little choked up. Jeremiah said he remembered "all about Maelee" and not to worry, because he knows that Jesus will be making a birthday cake for her. And it will be the BEST birthday cake because, "You know... Jesus is making it." (according to 5 year old logic, of course). Ours will be lemon because he (J) thinks that her cake in heaven will be yellow since it is so light there.
I am sort of hole-ing up because that's how my most deepest grief manifests itself and I think just being quiet is soothing right now. Plus I got a headache last night with our big storm (weather pressure and stress related). We made it through Sunday and through yesterday which was one year since she died in my womb... and we are working on getting through today's one year since hearing those dreaded words. And then we will face tomorrow.
Oh how we miss our should-be one-year-old.
-Heather
5 comments:
There are not words adequate to ease your pain, but knowing you don't walk alone will hopefully carry you through these days. Not only do you have many family & friends to walk with you, but Jesus is carrying you! He knows your grief. Maybe he made a lemon cupcake for Great-grandpa Zander, too! Love & prayers, Aunt Ruth
I woke up Monday Morning, in the wee hours of the night, and went to the Throne on your behalf, for this new baby, for your marriage. You will continue to be in my prayers this whole month!
I want you to know that you guys aren't grieving alone. Maelee has been on mind so much lately, which means you and Greg have been on my mind, too. It's hard to think about what life was like just a short year ago. Maelee is missed so much. My heart hurts with you both. Ella is wearing her jeans that were Maelee's today. We will continue to pray for you guys and praise God for His blessings and grace. I'm always here whenever you need to talk, hug, pray, cry and talk about baby boy Kasowski. I love you four.
-Court
Prayin' for you guys today!
Heather, I have been thinking and praying for you a lot this past week. Mainly, I thought of sweet Maelee because I made a few girls dresses for a lady and she wanted an outfit with a bunch of pink and brown paisley and polka-dots material - totally Maelee style in my book! Also, my azaela bushes are blooming and I remember writing her precious name with them. My heart grieves for you all and we are praying for you.
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