Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Hot Mess.

Best news is Annalee is gaining weight and is good! No jaundice issues. She is finally getting the milk she needs. Also, she's the cutest little thing.

Bad news is getting that milk to her is a struggle. So she will stay in the NICU for a day and I will keep staying in the curtousy room. 

The plan up until last feeding was for me to nurse her on my left "good" side for as long as she can. She then would get my pumped milk from my right side (too painful to nurse side) through the tube in her nose. This instead of introducing a bottle so that she would keep trying at the breast. 

However last time she just would not latch despite all conditions being perfect for her. The times before it has taken almost 40 minutes for her to latch well. So it looks like the plan from here will be for me to pump both sides and feed her with a bottle. Not ideal, I'd like to get to nurse her. But her getting my milk however we can so she stays hydrated and healthy is the priority. Perhaps eventually she will take the breast? We shall see. This all comes after the NICU nurse last night (who also is a lactation consultant) spent most of her shift next to me making sure all was right, plus two lactation consultants who watched and poked and prodded and determined I'm doing everything I can and it really is just up to Annalee. 

The nurse said there is no happy medium with her. She's either screaming "pissed off" or completely zonked and refuses to wake up. I guess we do have a drama queen on our hands!

This morning it was like someone turned the emotional faucet on this post-pardum momma. I know everything will be fine but I'm exhausted and I just want to hold my babies! I miss Eli and want to be his mom again! And I can't just snuggle Annalee whenever I want. And I'm by myself (Greg needs to work plus there is no room for him). But after this bottle scenario seeming to be our route, I feel better, a light at the end of this particular hurdle. Someday we will have a type of normalcy again. 

I'll update again soon! Thanks for caring about our little crazy train!

-Heather

4 comments:

Katie said...

heather, you are doing such a great job! she's an early bird, and they just have a harder time getting the whole latching thing sorted out. i just know you'll get there. and even if you don't, "healthy and alive" she is! hallelujah! praise Jesus, bottles or boob, that annalee is here! you make fabulous and extraordinarily cute babies. wish i could come hang in the nicu with you tonight and take pictures! xo

lissare14 said...

Oh those girls! My Averi put me through the same thing, minus the NICU. I remember sitting on the bed with her, the lactation specialist and my mom bawling! It was such a relief when I could pump and feed her. The bilirubin blanket went away and she woke up and actually ate! Keep up the good fight! She is adorable, drama and all.:)
Lissa

Ashley said...

Praying for you Heather and asking God's sustaining power for you guys in these long days. What a blessing your little Annalee is! :)

Unknown said...

We'll definitely be praying! I went through very similar stuff with Abigail in the NICU and had to use the bottle, but she ended up still liking nursing once we got her strength up so you still may be able to nurse her Every child is different though Praying for strength for you tonight We know how hard it can be!